Pinion - Comments

i like it. it was very suspenseful.

I'm so sad it's over! No more awesome updates to look forward to every evening. I love Pinion. Actually, I really just love how talented of a writer you are. You made these characters come to life for a while. I'll miss them! Hopefully you'll decide to write another story soon, I'll read it! By the way, my favorite parts of Pinion were the relationships between the boys. They were so believable, you did an amazing job of establishing them. Especially the budding, possible relationship between James and Blaine.

Congrats on NaNaWriMo! I know that's a really tough challenge and you did awesome!

Oh, and I'd be more than interested in a sequel if that's something you're thinking of.

Until another time :D

update my spongebobby friend

I really do not want this to end! It's such a wonderful story and your talent at writing is amazing. I feel so shocked still. The plot is so intense and captivating. The reader can get really emotionally involved with the characters.

There was only one mistake that I've noticed in this chapter. You call Blaine (I believe) David as James leads him to the car here:

"James wraps his arm around David's waist and guides him to the car that they have waiting for them."

Besides that, I will again gush over how much I adore Pinion. I'll probably cry when it's over.

On a side note, everytime I hear David's full name or even his last name, I can't help but picture the character of the same name from my favorite television show. Which is a very interesting picture in my head.

Just one detail more

In ch 21 you write:
"How did he die?" Keith asks, his teeth clenched and his face pale.

Lilith hesitates before answering. "It looks like a traditional kidnapping. He has wounds around his wrists from being restrained. It appears that he was tortured. There are welts and cuts on both his back and his torso. We've noted signs of sexual assault. But the cause of death is largely from the wound on his neck."

And in the next ch
"You can't come with a knife at your throat?" David asked, his voice unfaltering and sultry.

How can David kill Alex by cutting him in the neck if he has placed the knife on his throat ???????
Still like you story :)

update. i must know

Well, that's just... Twenty-two chapters and still it seems to come so fast. I sort of fancied that it might not have been just a mistake, that David would be seized by some sort of passion and lose his mind for a minute, killing Alex on purpose. It's still so hard to really hate him because after so long I've become attatched to his character. I like the way you revealed it.

Alex is back! For just a little, at least. I was almost sure David would accidently slip right then and cut his throat, I was almost afraid! I still want to know what is going to happend during the autopsy.This whole chapter was so intimate. I love it, a wonderful end to the teasing from before. I'm glad I have almost a whole day inbetween the chapters to adjust from mourning to firery passion otherwise my mind would be so confused. It's almost a shame this story is on here and not being published! You could probably make a lot. Until next time!

Don't cry, if you cry I will... too late. I knew Alex was dead already and yet, yet it's still so hard to really read about it because he is so alive in the chapter past. Now I just can't decide if it was really David who did it by accident or someone else. Of course the "torture" and "assult" was all him. I want to know what David is going to do once the police find his DNA all over Alex. Oh god, the way you describe the boy's emotions just makes them pour into me. Poor Alex. Good thing I read this at night or I'd have one traumatized day!

ooooooooooo drama. yay. update, sammich, death you know the drill

Your story is what makes me keep waking up in the morning? Ok, I'm not suicidal like that but, Pinion is so good it probably could. Ohh Alex is going to get what he wants. I have so many suspicions as to what is going to happen, it's driving me insane. Even though I something bad is going to happen, I can't help but be so attatched to these characters. Don't take them away from me!!

So sad! I hope that's not foreshadowing a break up of the band. I like them too much for that to happen. Even though the chapter was depressing, it was still another piece of proof that you're a writer with a lot of talent. People always say show and don't tell, which is a hard thing to do for a lot of aspiring writers. You don't have that problem! They way you convey emotion is wonderful. Can't wait until tomorrow!

I don't think have ever, ever, ever seen a sex scene this drawn out that still remained tantilizing. You have a real talent :D Plus your daily updates are what keep me from withdrawl. Don't stop! There isn't even any criticism for this chapter, it was perfect.

same reaction aw now update becuz i love you :D

Oh I did get some more, excellent. But it hardly stopped my jonesing. Your character development is gorgeous and the way you have them talk so nonchalantly about drugs just makes me really know where this story stands. I can't wait for the next update.

On a side note I just noticed two wee little mistakes.

You forgot the "s" on holds in this sentence:
David's lips contort as he hold back tears of disgust and anger.

And you call James "Alex" here:
Blaine, because it's taken him a while to work up the courage to have this conversation, and Alex, because he doesn't know what to expect.

I have never wanted a chapter as much as I want the next one to this story. I feel exactly like Alex waiting for David's touch. Amazing. I love the mystery, the seduction, and the complete fucked-up-ness of the characters. Your descriptions are painfully detailed but in a way that it enhances the story, the plot is driving me insane and the characters are hard to not love. My favourite part? It's so sophisticated. Can I have some more please?

lol is it getting hot in here or is it just me? huh it's probably me.
anyway im still lovin it update

ooooooooooooooo supa awesome goodbye good luck update

weird people with weird fettishs gotta love 'em

update!

update. the 1 word that says it all: update