Memory Field - Comments

Its weird reading a story that uses my name and nick name, even weirder that we use al ot of the same character names in our stories.

Its a bit fast, but I like it :)

Benji's cool, but I like Jack better for Charlotte. Awesome story!

This is such a good plot. >_<

I mean it, I think it is very original. Your writing jumps around a lot, and quite fast too. It makes the story fly by, and the reader doesn't really understand what's going on. Also, there are a few mistakes here and there. Maybe you should get an beta or editor just to read your work over?

It's good though, you've got a great idea going on!

I think you're onto a good idea here. You could make this a very interesting piece and it will be a good read once completed. I also love the colours, there so light and refreshing. Well written.

You have a very interesting concept so far for your story! Good job and keep it up!

I haven't completely read it yet but i like the idea and what i've read so far. To only have your memory for such a short period of time... that would be extremely scary

I love the layout! It's so bright yet has that "its gonna get depressing" deal. I think I would have made the summary a bit different, but it's very good! I'm gonna try to read it! :D

To start off, I love the colors in the layout - they're so optimistic even though the story is on a much more depressing topic. The banner image is quite pretty :) As for the summary, it's short and sweet and gives the reader and idea of the story! Nicely done.

Onto the prologue, one thing I can easily take note on is this doesn't really work as a prologue, but more like the first chapter instead. But that's all in your style, you do what you want :) I really like Lottie's personality, and I giggled when she hit the guy's tail light with her bat xD Made me laugh haha :) In any other circumstance, I'd that - even if she's losing her memory - she'll still be jailed if the man had got her license plate number. But it was a cute touch, one I liked very much :D

To Day Zero - I really like Benji :D He has the same name as an awesome friend of mine, and I just overall see myself loving his character. He appears to be sweet and looking out for Lottie's interest, which is nice. Not many of those guys anymore! One thing though that you should note on is to double space when starting a new paragraph; you do it for the most part but sometimes everything is a but crowded. Otherwise, lovely!

Ended up just reading the rest xDD I got sucked in!! It's really good so far, I must say. Though, I found it a bit strange that she's 21 and he's 27. Like, its normal at their ages now, but he said he'd liked her when they were younger and so... that's just a bit odd since that a six year difference. They would never even be in the same school together. I don't know, I just found it a bit odd. But I like Jack too, he seems like a cool guy :D

Nice story so far <3 Subbin'!

I read the summary and it immediately reminded of a Japanese movie, One Litre of Tears. It's a story about a girl who had a genetic disease and she died at the age of 24. It's actually a true story and the movie is made based on a book written based on her own diary that she wrote about her last days.

I love the whole idea of this story (although I just read the first two chapters). I love it how even though Charlotte's memories are slowly deteriorating, she's not being overly depressed and being all self-pitying, which I know I would do. >.<

That last part on the first chapter just made me laugh out loud. ^_^ “Oh your tail light ran into my bat.” That sentence just made my day. The only negative comment I have on this is that I noticed that in some parts of your story, you didn't skip a line when paragraphing. It makes it a little hard to read and it's confusing. Other than that, I think this is a good story.

This is a tad bit confusing. I didn't know she was talking on the phone until you said something about a phone. Also, there are a bit of mistakes but other than that the idea of this is perfect and I love it (:

Keep it! I love it! I only wish you had more written down so I could read! Please write more and soon, I'm already hooked!