The Mess I Made - Comments

i love it babe. its very interesting

Yay, an update!
Ooh... so suspense is kicking in. :o Whoa.
Can't wait to see what you have next in store! :D

i love this! i can't wait for the next update!

Hm...
Sam needs to not let her fears get to her. She needs to vent to someone. Anyone. I think it will help her feel better too. Not everyone will judge her; they'll accept her mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. :(
Great job with the update! Can't wait for more! :D

Loved the updates!
Hm... I'm kind of confused right now. XD Though I suppose it's because it's been a while since the story was last updated. XD I'm pretty sure that's it, so I'll muddle through. lol.
Hm, though what I'm mainly confused about, was... when did Sam take the LSD? Or are you getting to that? I'm not sure if that's supposed to be obvious, or not. Because I don't remember it happening if it did...
But great job with the updates, really. It's just kind of foggy, but it'll come back to me. Aha.
Can't wait for more! :D

Oooh!!!
An SVU fan fic!!
More soon?

Great updates! :)
Sorry for the delay in commenting. I've been busy with finals this week in school, and I was worrying over those, so... yeah.
Anyway, loved the new chapters! Hm... so Cheyenne's mother was raped by her father? That's sad. :( That guy's a slimeball. :/ And Cheyenne worked up the courage to talk to him... she's brave. Was he telling the truth when he said the rape wasn't intentional? Or was he lying?
And then with Sam... geeze, she has it pretty rough. With being followed by people she knew, and almost getting attacked by them, and then before that she jumped out of a moving car... :o And then with the end of that latest update, whoa. She needs to confide in someone to let them know what she's been going through. :(
Nice job you two. Can't wait for more! :D

OH!! A SVU fanfic; this is my first! I'm a huge fan of that show...though some of the stories the episodes have are heartbreaking and just messed up, but I feel like there's something realistic about it...

ANYWAYS, your story.
Chapter 1:
This is a new take on the SVU storyline. But I think you got Olivia's personality right. I can actually picture this as an episode. I never could picture her being the mother figure so it's interesting to see her take on this role for a teenager.
I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors, which is a plus.

Chapter 2
So this is the introduction to Samantha. This chapter was also good; it just starts to show who she is and how she feels on this whole arrangement of having to be taken away from her mother. Does she know that her mother was raped?

Again, good spelling and grammar, bonus.

Overall good read; the layout it awesome too. =) It was easy to read, and I quite like the start of this.
Good job!!

Loved the updates! :)
Hm... okay, so... that coach is a little weird. Why would she save her, but then threaten her when she wanted to leave? Makes no sense. And I'm sure if they knew she was there she wouldn't have gotten in trouble. It's not that big of a deal.
But I'm glad she finally called her mom. She can finally go home now. :) And Olivia hit Sam! :o Kind of brutal.
Great updates, though, guys! Can't wait for more! :D

Great job with the updates! :)
It's nice that Cheyenne has Elliot there to be a father figure for her. But then at the end of chapter nine, she actually met her real father. :o If that guy wasn't lying, of course. But he held a knife to her! What kind of father does that? I'm glad that the coach was there to save her.
Geeze, if that guy really was her father, I hope she never has to see him again.
And Sam... awww... :( So she found out the truth of why she was sent there. Maybe now she won't be as tense around them. Her mother only wanted what was best for her. And I'm glad James and Thomas were there to walk her home and all so she wouldn't be by herself.
Amazing job, you two! Can't wait for more! :D

Great update! :D
Ooh... so Cheyenne ended up being late to class. :P Nice. And she forgot to walk Sam home because she was walking with Derek... :o Probably not a smart move. Her mom seems very angry about it, lol. Though, why wouldn't she be?
Can't wait for more! :D

Yay, an update! :D
Loved the new chapter! :D
Hm... so they both have a somewhat/sorta love interest starting, huh? Interesting. :)
Can't wait for more! :D

I thought it was far from choppy and horrid! Are you kidding?!
You had great detail in the update. For example, one line I liked,
'He laughed, and the sound was dark and alluring, almost like him.'
Dark and alluring. I love your adjectives. XD And plus, I thought it sounded like something I would read out of an actual book. :)
So I thought it was great! Really! :) And I like how maybe-sorta-love interests were introduced. :) It'll make the story more interesting.
Can't wait for more! :)

Hm... seems interesting. You guys have a unique plot going here. And this is the first story I've seen that's used... Law and Order characters. That's the show, right? One of those detective ones, I know. :P
Anyway, I'm interested to see what you have in store for this. Can't wait to see what all goes down. :D
Definitely... subscribed!
And yay, first commenter! But I can't believe you two haven't gotten any other feedback yet. That's bonkers!