New to the Pack - Comments

As promised, I did read all of the chapters, but I feel weird like, spamming your account so I'm going to be posting like, several chapters at a time with general opinions, things I notice, helpful advice and minor corrections.

My first bit of advice, before I delve into the chapters I read will be the fact that you need to do spell check on them, if you'd like me to point out specific instances of errors, I'll give them to you, but I fear putting them in this will just make this comment way too long. Also, probably try to keep the descriptions to just the characters, the comments in parentheses aren't really needed. Also, since I'm going to nitpick on this slightly, you say that Caroline is from Britain, but Britain isn't a country. Britain is a region compiled of England, Scotland and Wales. I'm assuming you meant England though.

Going into the story, I think you definitely have potential and an interesting vision that I am enjoying, but I think some of the word choice (try using lengthened instead of 'turned long' for example) and flow (read your sentences out loud to see if it's a good rhythm when you read it) are minor things that get better over time. I'm personally not a fan of onomatopoeias being thrown into the middle of writing, because I think it breaks up the flow, although it's technically not wrong. I do recommend you try reading the transformation bit without the word 'CRACK' and see if you like it more or less. You also seem overly cautious about words that sound like they could be two words but aren't actually (such as backyard) and I do acknowledge that those can be very tricky because English is weird.

please update thos soooon please please please :)

I'm still loving the story!!!!
But, I also agree; Matt doesn't have to treat Caroline like one of the male wolves. He can still teach her things and 'punish' her, but perhaps a little nicer if that makes any sense! haha
The male wolves could just dominate her and make her roll over locking their jaws on her neck to punish her. If Caroline rolls over that's like the ultimate submission to a male. Just an idea.
XOXO

Matt is being a little bit hard on her

If Matt's teaching her how to be a wolf and stuff, I agree with SmurfGirl he must really be thinking about accepting her. I know it's how the pack runs but Matt, you don't smack a girl! It's just not right. I do feel bad for Caroline though, she's being punished like a male wolf would :( I love this! And the Jimmy wolf is just awwwwww!!

update :)

Wow...that's a real turn. Matt must really be expecting to have her join the pack so i think it's a good thing.

Pretty dang good story :D cant wait for more :D

I wasn't expecting that to happen...wonder what made Matt do that all of sudden

Awww their time together got cut short...I wonder what happened. Hurry and update!!!!

What happened!?!?!

aweee

Zacky is jealous....at least he didn't start a fight or something

O___o I imagined that nd I pretty sure I pissed ny pants

OMFG...my eyes.....That was funny. The guys are gonna have that image burned into there head for ever

awesome!! more please

I love the story!!!!
I can't wait to see what happens between Zacky and Caroline!!

Jimmy in those clothes. Oh my God, I keep picturing that and gaahh it's scarring yet really funny at the same time

I really love this story. Update soon <3

ROFL that is funny!!!!