In Green Fields - Comments

Chapter Two: Wow, another great chapter. You have me hooked, honestly, because I want to see where the road takes these two not only as musicians but as friends. I think you have a nice plot that could go any of a thousand directions and I'm anxious to see which way you take.

The only thing I can point out on this is that again, your dialogue has to be spaced apart like the paragraphs. :P

Layout: I really like the layout, it's colorful and very pretty. However, I think you should make the words a bit bigger. I had to strain to read them, and I'm sure I'm not and won't be the only one. Other than that, I like it.

Chapter: Wow, I love to admit that I'm really intrigued so far! You stated that this is your first original fiction? Well, congratulations, it's pretty great. I caught one mistake (I'll point it out in a second). Also, your formatting is slightly wrong. Each paragraph needs to have a line between them (which you do) but the same goes for dialogue. So dialogue should look like this:

"Hey."

"What's up?"

Oh, and here's the one mistake:
The back of my mind slowly began to rid of all my past worries...

Good start!

This is really well written, I like the storyline.
Update soon?

Wow, I like this keep up the good work.

Me gusta :)