Lopper and the Wopper - Comments

um...it was good! it really was! but it seems a little elementry (the way you wrote it anyway! not the contents!) other then that....yeah!

omg I need more, MORE !!!

okkk...it was ah-mazzing but why haven't you finished it?!

very interesting, but come on, HARRY POTTER!! Who ever thought of him as gay?? lol, not being mean just sayyin. anyway, loved it!!! lol

Hello! First off, welcome to Mibba!

I think your story has potential, but there are a few suggestion I want to make to you:
1. Try starting a new paragraph whenever someone new is talking or your moving on to a different subject.
2. Re-read you piece before posting because I caught Harry talking into a fancy store instead of walking.

As he was walking into the new fancy store, he saw Malfoy, looking around the store.

“Oh Malfoy, what are you doing here?”

Malfoy turned around, surprised to see Harry there, “I work here Potter. At least I have a decent job, last I heard you were fired from your Auror job. You’re useless,” he laughed.

3. Adding a summary to your story helps readers know what it's about before they begin reading it, and whether or not they want to continue reading.
4. Although pre-made layouts are fine and dandy a lot of readers like to see layouts the writer made so that it fits the story better. A lot of people here on Mibba are always willing to make story layouts for you if you don't know how yourself.

But all in all I like the story! I plan on staying tuned so I can read more ^^
If you ever need anything you can always ask me!

~Nikki