Thomas - Comments

I love the name you picked out for him, and you write with a certain something that literally sends chills down my spines. I've never come across a story like this and I'm really tired of all the "hockey fan fiction!" and "band fan fiction!" nothing wrong with either of those, but this, THIS is a breath of fresh air. You write with such amount of voice it's absolutely incomprehensible. Cannot WAIT to see where this goes!! Congratulations!!

God Bless,

Olivia

Oh my word. This story, this story is something I've never really read before on mibba. It gave me a kind of Halloween feel. Except Thomas really sounded like a good kid. You have made me gasp--I shit you not as I say that, you literally made me gasp. I sat here with my mouth wide open! Your details, your way of writing, and the flow? If you were aiming to surprise the living hell out of your readers, then you've definitely nailed it!

Great job, and I'm definitely recommending this. This story deserves all the awards--if Mibba ever did these kinds of things, ha.

Wow, this was really, really cool. I loved it. It was written so nicely and flowed so well. I would like to find out more about Thomas, as he is very interesting. I also liked how it was neither too long nor too short. It was really awesome, and you did an amazing job with it.

The idea behind this story is really unique. I'm very interested in seeing where this will go.
I want to meet Thomas, or at least know more about him.

All I have to say is fuck. The whole thing was just so intense and just gave me this eerie feeling. I loved how you described Thomas in the first paragraph. It's such lovely and happy words yet you still feel this strange feeling take over you. And once the sentence 'Unfortunately, you’ll never meet Thomas.' and you get pulled in.

While reading to the story and listening to the song, it just made me feel so fucking sad. Excuse my language, but FUCK hahaha. It works perfect with the song in the most ironic way possible.

These lines went perfectly with the story, in my opinion. 'I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up'

I loved it and thank you so much for entering!

The only complaint that I have is the word length. I know a story like this is meant to be short but the minimum was 800 words, but other than that, this was amazing! (: