***NEED WORK - Comments

okay soooo it kinda was just filler but I'm gunna let it go because I don't mind build up for a big scene and if there's one coming you better not switch to Ava/zeik, not that I don't want to read about them, but I'm really excited for them all to FINALLY end up in the same place. I so excited!
Anyway the only spelling problem I caught was a random f instead of g . . . or maybe it was the other way around. Otherwise everything else was great!

KEEP WRITING!
<3

The only thing about this I found a bit rough was the layout. The moon was slightly in the way of some of the text, and the red on red isn't my favorite, but that's more of a personal preference.

Chapter One:

I really enjoy this. You don't have any mistakes, and your style is very easy to read. I didn't find anything really confusing, just that some paragraphs weren't spaced, and that kind of confused me, but your content was well organized.

The only other thing I found was this:

. By the next, when she opened her eyes, she was in a warm, brightly-lit dome room, that seemed to be welcoming her.

I don't think there needs to be a comma after room, but I could be wrong.

Anyway, good job!!

Yay 4 Zeik! I knew he could do it!!! and Ava came back! I'm so happy.
Ummmm lets c . . . do i want more ava and zeik or mivian . . . . . lets go with Miv. I'v bn wondering about her, but mayb zeik n ava . . . . no mivian. definitely mivian.

^.^ I'm just so happy they beat that thing.

WOW.
I've just spent the last... Day-ish reading your story in all my spare moments, which, despite it being the weekend, I don't get many of.
What can I say?
You write, amazingly.
Your style is almost hypnotic, and there wasn't a moment in which I wanted to tear myself away from the story. And well, what isn't there to love?
Your descriptions are amazing, not too detailed, and not too sparse. And hell, the last several chapters, you build up the tension and atmosphere amazingly. I've been sitting here, wide-eyed, hear thumping, as I've read. And that has never happened before. Normally, stories can't get me so tense, because I can see what's coming, and read at my pace... But damn, I was terrified forVayden as he approached the elevator... And horrified to read the doors were covered in blood and a childs handprints... Oh dear god.
Ok, I suppose that's enough of my rambling... Please update soon? Consider me subscribed!

I would b mad about the long wait, but the creature thing finally has a weakness and zeik mite b able to defeat it. I'm so xcited. U hav to update SOON this time ^.~

Wow, that last chapter was really suspenseful. I actually jumped a little when I heard a noise. ^^; Not cheesy at all.
As for the deadline, 1 a week sound good to you?

Yay! I think this is like the only story where i can read that much in one sitting and not get bored. i didn't mind the cheesy drama at all. And as for the deadline . . . . How fast can u write?

i really like it so far (just finished chap. 17) "20 miles in 10 seconds" they're moving at a good 7200 mph there lol.

hmm, this is okay..the layout is a bit..uhm disappointing. I think you need to edit that and then you'll get many new readers.

Mivian's got super powers. She needs to go kick some creepy voices ass! DON'T HOLD BACK

sorry, I've got alot of energy today, but great update. Can't wait for the next half. I've just been waiting for them to meet each other. lol, you already got my hopes up so many times

Thanks!! It'll get even better!!

Yay, loved the update. The twist at the end was perfect! You had me worried there for a second

Nice Job!!! Next time I want to read about whatss going on with Ava and Zeik!!

Red_Eclipse:

Ah, poor Zeik, first he gets thrown by Thya and now he gets tackled by Ava.
I feel sorry for him.
Amazingly beautiful updates as usual. Keep it up.
I want to know what Mivian and those hunters are up to over there.

...YAYZ!! :D
Yea, Zeik takes quite a beating in the latest chapters, but he's a big boy; he can take it like a MAN!! XD
...KIDDING, we all love Zeik, but he needs to hang in there...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!

Ah, poor Zeik, first he gets thrown by Thya and now he gets tackled by Ava.
I feel sorry for him.
Amazingly beautiful updates as usual. Keep it up.
I want to know what Mivian and those hunters are up to over there.

brntpopcorn:

OMG I luv this story so much! It's just so awesome. I luv all the fighting action and drama and dark pasts lol
I can't wait for the next update. This is soo my favorite story on this site (Don't tell the other stories)

Oh you make me blush!!

Updates are actually coming very soon... did you read all this in one sitting?! :shock:

OMG I luv this story so much! It's just so awesome. I luv all the fighting action and drama and dark pasts lol
I can't wait for the next update. This is soo my favorite story on this site (Don't tell the other stories)

Red_Eclipse:

Awesome chapter. ^^ Not a lot of people can pull off a good fight scene.

Ah... THANK YOU!!

I was hoping that it didn't get too confusing or anything... it didn't, did it?

Awesome chapter. ^^ Not a lot of people can pull off a good fight scene.

Red_Eclipse:

:shock: Noooo! What happened?! Damn the suspense... :grr:

Hahaha!! I'm sorry!
I'll get the next chapter out SOON!!