I really liked this too. And I agree, you should make it a two shot or three shot.
November 19th, 2011 at 08:30am
I really liked this.
The dialogue layout could use some work, as in when people are talking, you should make new paragraphs. Also, it all seemed a little rushed, there was an option for a two-shot or three-shot.
Other than that, the story line was interesting and I enjoyed it. You left it on somewhat of a cliffhanger, so maybe you'll add to it later? :D