I thought she was hungry so I made her a hearty meal of tear soaked tissues, metal buttons and the lint from the dryer. Seasoned perfectly with hairs from an unknown source.
So what I did was just touch her in her warm no-no spot. Six times. Okay ten times. Okay okay fifty fuckin' times! I can't believe it! Then she started rocking back and forth mumbling "eat it! Eat it! EAT IT!!!"