Remembering Sunday - Comments

Okay so I have many comments on this story. I don't think you should start it with 'rape' but whatever tickles your fancy, maybe it's just me. You might want to try reworking your character development, it was a little rough. The story could have been smoother. It felt like you jumped from present time to flashback/thoughts too early and rapidly. Try to give the reader a bit more time to analyse the character them self before giving them the character's life story. Just a few tips, otherwise have fun writing

I like how you start it off with a conversation, especially how it includes rape. The word does have a lot of meaning so it catches everyone's attention. I also like how you describe the crush of your friend, how the innocence was lost at a young age, and where life went wrong. Your story is realistic also, because everyone does lose friends. Whether from being labeled, back stabbed, or fighting, it does happen. good job! c: