So Your Prince Charming is Really a Cinderella - Comments

I know in my candy blog it says under snickers that I'll read three chapters and comment, but I went with story anyway. I saw you had a lot of A7X stuff so I'll probably being checking that stuff out. XD Anyways, out of all your stories, I chose this one and I like it very much so far. I like the layout; it's simple yet pretty, and not wild and loud. :) I like the descriptions for the characters. And even though Ave wasn't mentioned yet in the actual story, I got a feeling that she's gonna be my favorite. C: In Chapter 2, when Melody is walking Gabby and how she pays attention to her hips at one point and when they're sitting down, she's stopping herself from loving thoughts, I feel like I can relate to that. I once had a crush on a friend. Hint: that's why I chose this story, because I'm bi and I like girl slash stories. XD

Anyway, I really like this and I'm going to subscribe.

Hoped you liked the comment.

Gives hug. Laura.

Chapter Two:

So, it wasn't bad. It was nice. I hated how in the beginning you kept describing things with "that we called blah-blah-blah" at the end of the description. It was too repetitive. Your descriptions don't need to sound alike every time. It's one thing to have a style and another to repeat something every time you describe something. You didn't do it every time but you did enough for me to really notice.

I didn't really look for grammar/spelling issues but I didn't see any obvious ones.

As for the content, I felt that towards the end the affectionate way Gabby and Melody (who's name was never said except as the chapter title) was very unrealistic since Gabby is straight. I have lesbian friends and bi-sexual friends and straight friends. None of those friends caresses my face and I do not put my head on the stomachs. My best friend has slapped me on the butt when we were drunk once, even (course, she was trying to freak me out and make me fall since I was standing on my dresser drunk). But never, not even drunk, have we been that affectionate towards each other.

I felt like maybe the writing needs a little work, practice maybe? And I believe that the characters and their relationships need to be worked on.

I found in the first chapter that Alex and her male best friend seemed fine except that he wanted to know details of the lesbian love life that is Alex's. I don't think that's completely realistic either. I think Alex, judging her characteristics shown so far, would have flipped on him for asking about details and he would know not to ask by now.

I just am not into this story. I'm sure that there are people who adore this story and feel into it.

I'm not one of them.

Don't take my comment as the only opinion. Find other opinions as well because my opinion is not the only opinion out there and what I don't like, someone else may like.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you a nicer opinion. I just don't want to lie and it sound false because it would sound false.

The layout is nice. It's really cool.

It sounds interesting, really! I just don't like how Kailee is described with gages (not spelled right, sorry) in her ears and black hair. To me, that description is very cliched in the femmeslash world. And, honestly, Alex seems like too much of a guy to just be lesbian. I have met lesbians who are extremely man-ish but still have something girly in them. A lot of guys are that way too.

I think the best thing for me is to read the next chapter and comment on it as well. Right now, I don't like the story all that much. (Not because it's a bad story or anything.) It just feels like the lesbian version of every high school story I've ever read. It just feels very cliched.

I think you have a promising beginning that could make a good story. You just have to move past the cliche's to get there.

I'll read the next chapter when it's up if you'll message me when it comes up and I'll comment on it as well. I hate giving bad comments but at least by telling you some of its cliched you can make the rest a little more spicy and give it something memorable.

Please don't be mad at me for this review; it was not meant to offend, only help.

The story shows promise. The first chapter is just really cliched.

I love the layout, it's really pretty with the side bar and I love how the text seems to sparkle, it just looks so pretty <3 Your summary was short but very intriguing, it makes me wonder at how four very different (I'm assuming they're different) girls are thrown together and how they get along with each other and stuff :D Ahaha, Alex sounds like a player at his careless demeanor when he lives that chick's house and how he honestly really does not give a shit at all. Oh yikes, I just realised Alex was a girl when you mentioned this line:

Didn't he have anything better to do than listen to lesbians talk about who they hook up with?

Haha, this was not the first time I got confused by someone with a unisex name, aha. But lesbian player, hmm. Sounds interesting. :D I'm quite interested in seeing what happens with Alex and Kailee :D You have a very interesting premise going on, great job <3