Names on the Wall - Comments

I love the setting. It's not something too common on here at all. The layout is wonderful and I'm in LOVE with the originality. I didn't notice any grammatical errors or anything of the sort, either, so that was a huge gold star to you in my book. Victoria is a beautiful name so as lame as it sounds, it made me happy to see it. The dialogue went along smoothly, as well. Don't give up writing, you're wonderful at it. <3

wow this is amazing. i don't know if it's just a one shot or a chaptered, but either way it'd work. (i'd love to see where you would take it in more chapters too!)

the paragraphs were quite long, but the layout uses a very readable format so it's not really a problem (whereas it may be on other platforms). i didn't notice any spelling mistakes, or grammatical errors either. the dialogue was nice, and it had the perfect balance of back story and plot. i'd love to know a detailed explanation as to why they're both there, but i guess that's sort of the point!

it's wonderful, really. <3

For dialogue, it should be written with commas and no capital letters, like:
"Chris, the chair's bleeding," she announced.
"Are we really going to do this?" he asked.
Google it if you're uncertain :)

Apart from that minor thing, I think your writing is really good. This piece was really captivating and it flowed really well. It was just really great. Good job :)

Wow. This was amazing!

Not a whole lot of action might have happened in this chapter, but it was a great beginning for a story of adventure and inspiration. The details you put into it, not just what they were doing and saying, but what was going through their minds, was really gripping.

I am subbing to this story in hopes that you continue it :) It's really difficult to find great original stories such as this one.