Midnight Shadows - Comments

I love your layout, theres something about it, the banner with the girl and the wolf, how similar they are. Yup, utter perfection. I like the concept of the story, the way you differenciate humans and wolves and how they can never be one. I love the way it contrasts the background of the story. Your main character Raksha to me is to an extent realistic, shes not the perfect girl and shes not portrait that way, like most story in which all characters are utterly perfect. Her flaws really make her a unique character. It's a good story, and very very well written. Very well done bro

One thing I noticed was that you had a lot of sentence fragments. They disrupt the flow of the story, and just a quick read-through/edit can fix them. Other than that, the grammatical errors were kept at a minimum and didn't detract from the story.

I really liked what you have here. The concept that the wolves can't associate with humans was really interesting. I also liked that Raksha could kind of read people and see who they were - like that Chris guy. Ugh. He was annoying. I also like that Raksha wasn't the best fighter because that really made her more realistic. Like she's beautiful and has this BA attitude, but she's got her flaws. Her relationship with Jei is cute, as well. I'm not sure how I feel about Kane at this point, aha, but I don't think Raksha is either. :) Keep writing!

I like the concept that you have going on right now. I think it's a really good start for your story.
However, I found at times that you can be a little verbose, and that there were quite a few grammatical errors.

He was graduated…I was sure of that

This sentence doesn't feel right. Perhaps, He'd already graduated, I was sure of it.

A small revision is all that's needed to make your story even more wonderful than it already is. :)

[comment swap]
The layout's really nice. :)

It's definitely an interesting concept and the first chapter is definitely a good start, showing what these wolves can do. I kind of wanted the girl to kick Chris' ass instead of Jei doing it for her, but maybe there'll be time for that in another chapter.

There are quite a lot of errors though like in the first line, typing "out side" instead of "outside" but I think all you need is a rereading. Since this is a co-write, I think it would be easy for both of you to check each others' work for typos and such.

Good luck with this story! :)

you guys are so amazing ;D

I love this. Es something different from what I normally read but I can't help but love itt! Nothing is confusing and I love the character, 'xcept for the meanies >__<. This story is what I've been searching for and I found it ,yay <3.

Wow I can't wait to read more :)

C: thank you love!

'she sticks to the rules her brother had advised them' should this be 'because her brother had advised them' ?

'ear drums of ever being that lived' I think you meant 'every being'

Apart from a few tinyyy mistakes like that I love this, I really do, Im really compelled and want to read more. Your writing is very detailed and I already really like the main character.

Keep it goin' <3

lol i'm glad we could write a story and catch a lot of people's attentions. C:

It's unusual for me to be interested in stories such as this, but you two admittedly caught my interest. I like the character development. I think out main character is totally ignorant, and I hate her attitude to humans, though I understand why she believes in such things. Being raised to hate works. Also, that guy Chris pi*sed me off and I'm so glad Jai stuck it to him! >.<

thank you oh-so much! you guys are amazing C:

Oh wow this is great! And it's so interesting. The layout is beautiful and so is your writing style and I love the main character; but I would have smacked Chris on the head with the book ages ago lol. Keep writing =].

i appreciate it! i mostly get the you're and your mixed up, but i'm working on it!

I like this a lot. It's different from the type of story I normally get interested in, but it really caught my attention. I really like the main character; she seems so elegant and proud. I like that she truly thinks all humans are disgusting... it makes me think that something will change her mind on down the road, maybe? Either way, I also think the Jei will play an important role too.

Logistically it was really well written. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing greater than a mix up of "you're" and "your," or "to" and "too." Nothing detracted from the story, so it was fine with me!

aha, thank you darling C: !

The layout is nice. c:

I really, really liked where you started this and I'd like to see where this goes. c: It seems really, really lovely. c:

thank you so much for the comment, C:

Hhmm this looks intresting! ^.^ Can't wait to see how it turns out!
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