oh my god this is amazing. i love it, the imagery, the hook, everything. well dont. origional fictions are hard to write, because you have to make EVERYTHING up as you go, but well done!!!
This story is really powerful, but the POV changes really take away from it. I think it should have been one main POV throughout the story, it didn't make since for a short story. Another thing, if you continue to use POV changes in the future, don't repeat what the person in the last POV said. It makes it redundant.