'Till Death Do Us Part - Comments

  • hangsang.

    hangsang. (210)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Antarctica
    Holy crap, this was intense, but very amazing. I enjoyed how much detail you put into it. Very, very good work!
    December 26th, 2011 at 11:06pm
  • Emrys

    Emrys (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    oh my god this is amazing. i love it, the imagery, the hook, everything. well dont. origional fictions are hard to write, because you have to make EVERYTHING up as you go, but well done!!!
    December 23rd, 2011 at 08:38pm
  • Kawaii Emotions;

    Kawaii Emotions; (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    This story is really powerful, but the POV changes really take away from it. I think it should have been one main POV throughout the story, it didn't make since for a short story. Another thing, if you continue to use POV changes in the future, don't repeat what the person in the last POV said. It makes it redundant.
    December 23rd, 2011 at 08:13pm