Make a Wish - Comments

  • amaranthine.

    amaranthine. (155)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    28
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    My review for the contest:

    This was a sweet story - really sad, but I'm glad the ending was happy. I really liked the description used throughout; it helped to create a good image of the scene, and describe what was going on. I noticed one or two grammar mistakes (there was one part where it said 'changes' but it should have said 'changed') but nothing that disrupted the flow of the story. I really liked the build up at the beginning, but I felt that the ending was a bit rushed; the bit where she thought she saw him on the wind could have been developed a bit more. Overall, though, I liked it - well done! :D
    February 19th, 2012 at 02:14pm