Smeared Eyes - Comments

  • k i w i

    k i w i (100)

    :
    Member
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    Age:
    28
    Location:
    United States
    okay. so I like the mood that you developed in this drabble: fear, anxiety, dark etc. however, I feel like you had a lot of grammar problems and problems with word order. either that or I didn't quite understand the story, because those issues interrupted the flow of the piece. also, there were some tense problems: for example in the first sentence you started out with past tense and then switched to present. this almost has a poetic feel to it. and I love the layout.

    thanks for entering my contest and great job! c:
    January 2nd, 2012 at 10:08pm