Motion Sickness - Comments

From Comment Swap.
I think that the two of you do a very good job of bringing the characters to life. Through the descriptions, you really give both Ryland and Zoey depth. I'm not a fan of multiple POV, but I feel like it works very well for this piece. Although, some parts seem cliche to me, sometimes their actions seems almost over the top. I'm not really sure how to phrase that.
Although, it really is a beautiful piece and the writing is just fantastic.
Keep up the good work.

Comment Swap: I am so glad I got this story to comment on because I have fallen in love with it!! You two are amazing writers! I particularly enjoy the different points of view, I like to know what each character is feeling. You have really made Zoey a likable character and her situation is believable. I initially hated Ryland but you have managed to make him appear human and he is starting to grow on me. Update soon!! Great work!!

Aaaaaaahhh!!!!!!! You're baaaaack!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Update? please... It's been... like what? five months? I'm really missing this.

WHY WHY WHY HAVN'T THERE BEEN ANY UPDATES!!!??

Hey, I love this storoy. Now update! c:

I read through the first three chapters and, in the end, I felt like the main character was too weak. I think having a character that's a bit vulnerable isn't a bad thing, and can be useful if you're using it to lead to something later on in the story (I'm guessing a romance between Zoey and Ryland) but when it gets to the point where the character is more weak than vulnerable, I think you may have made her too soft - too dependent on her friends to take care of her. I think for readers, a character like that could get boring quickly.

I think you have an interesting idea here but maybe you should build a bit more to the relationship between Ryland and Zoey, and build their characters up a bit more. Right now, to me, they seem more like cliches - with how exaggerated their actions are - and not like real people. I wish we could learn more about them as individuals and more about their emotions - perhaps in doing so we could better understand their actions, so it wouldn't seem so...random or made-up.

The poor girl. It makes me want to deck him for the things he said to her. Uhhhg!! I can't wait to read more though. Update soon!!!

More more more<333

could you guys update already????

yep. definitely think she's pregnant. wow this story is so professionally done! i love it when y'all update! yes i just said y'allXD

<333

AWESOME!! thx guyz for updating! 2 things:

-- IS SHE PREGNANT???!?!!?!!!?!!!?!?!! or is she just dillusional about the lump. . . i should go back and re-read, but yeah. . ..

-- AW!!!!!!!! james and Alex!!! :D LOVE IT!!

AWESOME!! thx guyz for updating! 2 things:

-- IS SHE PREGNANT???!?!!?!!!?!!!?!?!! or is she just dillusional about the lump. . . i should go back and re-read, but yeah. . ..

-- AW!!!!!!!! james and Alex!!! :D LOVE IT!!

James most feel terrible poor him

Randomly found this, and I find it super cute. Both of your writing styles are really strong, you set a mood that stays constant throughout the chapters. It's really good. I've definetely subscribed. (: Looking forward to an update.

So, when are you going to post another chapter?

I love this, It's an amazing story and deserves attention, (:

my only question is, WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED YET?! ;[

OH MY COWS. . . . [silence] . . . that may have been short but it was a really good update! i think ryland should shove some food down her throat. that kiss was so. . . .!!!!!. . . .unexpected! KEEP UPDATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah right now im talking to drew cuzz buddy it's ur turn!