September 16th, 2013 at 06:41am
Motion Sickness - Comments
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Comment Swap: I am so glad I got this story to comment on because I have fallen in love with it!! You two are amazing writers! I particularly enjoy the different points of view, I like to know what each character is feeling. You have really made Zoey a likable character and her situation is believable. I initially hated Ryland but you have managed to make him appear human and he is starting to grow on me. Update soon!! Great work!!June 8th, 2013 at 06:56am
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Aaaaaaahhh!!!!!!! You're baaaaack!!!!!! <3 <3 <3November 22nd, 2012 at 09:59pm
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Update? please... It's been... like what? five months? I'm really missing this.September 27th, 2012 at 05:25pm
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WHY WHY WHY HAVN'T THERE BEEN ANY UPDATES!!!??July 29th, 2012 at 10:36pm
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Hey, I love this storoy. Now update! c:June 26th, 2012 at 04:56pm
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I read through the first three chapters and, in the end, I felt like the main character was too weak. I think having a character that's a bit vulnerable isn't a bad thing, and can be useful if you're using it to lead to something later on in the story (I'm guessing a romance between Zoey and Ryland) but when it gets to the point where the character is more weak than vulnerable, I think you may have made her too soft - too dependent on her friends to take care of her. I think for readers, a character like that could get boring quickly.
I think you have an interesting idea here but maybe you should build a bit more to the relationship between Ryland and Zoey, and build their characters up a bit more. Right now, to me, they seem more like cliches - with how exaggerated their actions are - and not like real people. I wish we could learn more about them as individuals and more about their emotions - perhaps in doing so we could better understand their actions, so it wouldn't seem so...random or made-up.June 8th, 2012 at 07:18am -
The poor girl. It makes me want to deck him for the things he said to her. Uhhhg!! I can't wait to read more though. Update soon!!!April 30th, 2012 at 06:35pm
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More more more<333March 5th, 2012 at 08:28am
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could you guys update already????February 27th, 2012 at 11:03pm
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yep. definitely think she's pregnant. wow this story is so professionally done! i love it when y'all update! yes i just said y'allXDFebruary 26th, 2012 at 01:44am
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<333February 15th, 2012 at 01:46am
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AWESOME!! thx guyz for updating! 2 things:
-- IS SHE PREGNANT???!?!!?!!!?!!!?!?!! or is she just dillusional about the lump. . . i should go back and re-read, but yeah. . ..
-- AW!!!!!!!! james and Alex!!! :D LOVE IT!!February 12th, 2012 at 03:24am -
AWESOME!! thx guyz for updating! 2 things:
-- IS SHE PREGNANT???!?!!?!!!?!!!?!?!! or is she just dillusional about the lump. . . i should go back and re-read, but yeah. . ..
-- AW!!!!!!!! james and Alex!!! :D LOVE IT!!February 12th, 2012 at 03:24am -
James most feel terrible poor himFebruary 10th, 2012 at 11:35pm
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Randomly found this, and I find it super cute. Both of your writing styles are really strong, you set a mood that stays constant throughout the chapters. It's really good. I've definetely subscribed. (: Looking forward to an update.January 29th, 2012 at 10:48am
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So, when are you going to post another chapter?January 25th, 2012 at 01:04am
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I love this, It's an amazing story and deserves attention, (:January 19th, 2012 at 06:24pm
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my only question is, WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED YET?! ;[January 18th, 2012 at 03:39am
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OH MY COWS. . . . [silence] . . . that may have been short but it was a really good update! i think ryland should shove some food down her throat. that kiss was so. . . .!!!!!. . . .unexpected! KEEP UPDATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah right now im talking to drew cuzz buddy it's ur turn!January 18th, 2012 at 12:03am
I think that the two of you do a very good job of bringing the characters to life. Through the descriptions, you really give both Ryland and Zoey depth. I'm not a fan of multiple POV, but I feel like it works very well for this piece. Although, some parts seem cliche to me, sometimes their actions seems almost over the top. I'm not really sure how to phrase that.
Although, it really is a beautiful piece and the writing is just fantastic.
Keep up the good work.