The Nerd Boy - Comments

HEY! you should update :D

yay lol smiles and inspiration :D i want to help because you have a GOOD thing going here with this story. i saw some more stuff i could've commented on but frankly all this typing takes me forever. it took me like 20 minutes to type the big comment. thats just typing too >< the actual 'gather my thoughts so i dont word-puke all over the place' part takes a while too. cant wait for the next chapter :D. you edit your own stuff? i dont really know how the mibba community works, to be honest. when i was a quizillian(forgot the username XDDD) i always edited my friend's story. then again i dont know how that community works, either.. quizilla sucks.

"I'm rude but I'm honest, if I have an opinion I --won't-- be afraid to voice it but I guess that just
--gets-- me into a bigger mess than I --was-- already in"
you are switching verb tenses here (and ive noticed in other places as well) it slows down the reader and blemishes your point. also a semicolon would be more appropriate then a comma ^.^ i looooove semicolons :D they( in my opinion) add spice to your writing. lol i sound like a cook.
sorry if i seem uh bossy or presumtuous in my comments. this is how i would edit my classmates' papers on our rough draft day. not a fun day for me.

I'm really liking the way you're writing this. This is defiantly going to be a good story. :) post more soon!!!!!

wow i've only read one sentence(so far) and i'm hooked into your writing style. it immediately made me want to keep reading, but i made myself come here so i would remember my thoughts and not get hooked on the story(yet). *goes back to first chapter to read* 'I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask to be hated by everyone' beautiful parallelism :) i love how you set this up. you present the subject and explain it within the same sentence and deliver it with a parallel structure. THIS is the kind of stuff that makes a story so enjoyable and smooth. you write like a natural hun :D.*goes back again* oh! and such complex sentences! simple, compound, complex, and possibly compund complex(im horrible at identifying it xP. i only mentioned it because just because i cant find it doesnt mean it's not there!) sentences all so freakin naturally arranged <3 *goes back AGAIN* yay rhetorical questions :D make us readers think >:D
"Yes, I might be one of those kids who always have their heads in a book, who always knows the answer to everything."(2nd para) i like where your going with this thought, but you left it hanging. to me it sounds like your opposing two subjects and, if that is true then you need to include the subject in your thought and not turn it into another sentence.
"you've always got to have a top dog. The guy or girl who is looked up to by everyone"(3rd para) once again, you explain your thought with the next sentence :D this is a valuable tool and helps the reader understand the subject better. you are introducing this character, the way he thinks, and how he understands the world wonderfully :)
i love how you 'zoom out' of the story for a second and talk about the main characters thoughts and 'zoom' back into his current predicament. its seamless! i can follow you from point A to point B without getting lost or stumbling over something.

..... i could go on like this forever. i mean look ^. my commentary is longer then the first three paragraphs im commenting about! -.- you can curse my english teacher for all this rambling lol(or thank if it was helpful!) hopefully i didnt annoy you by talking about things you know about! D:
if i find something that needs commenting on then i shall >:D i was just complementing you with this one.(giving credit where credit is due!) i didnt feel like a Good Job! or i love it! would be helpful or suffice to express WHY i felt that way.
you can call me ander ^.^ its the nickname i prefer currently. my username is boring because i tend to forget my account names if i dont use my email name >.< its sad really. SO you dont have to refer to me as such.

Yes first chapter!!!! Can't wait for more! :)

Ooh, me likey ;]
Seriously, I like the whole different route to the 'geek' thing- it's unique and I like it!
Please update soon- I am officially addicted *subscribes*
xx Amber

Oh my god… oh my god!!!! This is soooooo freaking good!! UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE! I'm hooked:)!<3

its good how you took a different route to the whole 'geek' thing
his personality is more , "i don't give a fuck" than "blaaaah imma freak"
but he still had that geeky kinda thing to him
cute (:

I feel like I have to appreciate any story that starts off with the guy being tied to a pole. I mean, it's a guy tied to a pole, you know that the story's going places.

I like this guy's attitude though, aha. At least he knows that he's a big mouth. You've got to appreciate that at least he can accept his flaws. And he's funny- gotta give him that. I like Kennedy too, I don't know why but usually I find myself like the best friend character more so I figure by the time this thing really starts rolling I'm going to be fawning all over him because that's what I do. :D

I think the sister relationship is cute too. I hardly ever see siblings in stories, and to see them actually get along too is really nice. I like that. There isn't much going on here, except for the introducing of the characters, so I can't really say much but so far I like it. The only thing I think, and it could be a personal thing, but I think the word questioned just sounds awkward. I'd just stick with asked.

Otherwise, it has potential. :)

i subscribed already (:

I can't wait to read!

Definitely worth writing. Can't wait for it to start.

I can't wait for the first chapter
:D

this seems like it'll be interesting to read. Can't wait to find out :)

oh man when is the first chapter going to be out? :D *suscribes*

Before I even say anything about the story, that banner is gorgeous! Seriously! xD
Love it.
I'd love to read this one!
Anything you write is awesome and this one looks like it will be too :))

I'd love to read this, it seems interesting. c:
Go for it!