The Store Front Window - Comments

Fabulous! Just cute and whimsical and perfect. :) I loved it. There were a few errors, but I see someone has already pointed them out for you. (Although that was pretty long ago...I sorta suggest correcting them, haha.) I really loved the idea and totally didn't expect that to happen. Very good job!

This layout is lovely, the story was too cute c':

Dribble Me a Drabble Contest: I’m going to start by saying I love vintage shops, so you almost can’t go wrong with this layout. The pink is a little hard to see, but I get that you were trying to match the dress in the window. I like the wood border and vintage fabric background. The only thing I’d change is that specific wood background; the seam looks a little weird. I have a few wood textures I can give you if you’d like. Also (kind of an afterthought, but I think it would be awesome), you could even omit that pink title altogether and make the title of the story 226 Hunky Dory Vintage. That’s creative and it’s embedded in the photo already.

I like this! It’s a really cute idea. I liked, for starters, that this was like an excerpt of a full-length story. I find most people can’t achieve that with a drabble. I would love to see this expanded now that it’s been judged with the 500 word cap. I liked that the shop was run by an old woman. It occurred to me that maybe a lot in this store was once hers, or things even older that had been passed down to her that she now has to sell for the money. She seems so lonely, which would support the idea that she has nowhere else to get the money from. Needless to say, that’s where my mind was running with this, so when your mannequins (which I actually have an unhealthy, impractical fear of) jumped down from their displays, I was a wee bit surprised. That was a really cool idea! I loved the detail of stiff shoulders—that was perfect. Give this another glance-through—you missed some commas—but otherwise this was very good :)

Requirements Met: 500 word cap, word count on summary, link to contest in summary/author’s note, photo in layout/author’s note, readable layout, grammar and spelling

Brownie Points: creative title, original layout

When she finished that task she moved to grab the broom out of the supply closet and sweep the already spotless floor. She was sweeping some dirt into her dustpan when she heard a loud clattering.
- This doesn't make all that much sense, because if the floor was spotless, how was there dust? :)

She jumped scattering the dirt all over the floor again,
- Same as above. and also, this sentence should end with a period.

“Hello? Is there somebody there?”
- This is just me being nitpicky, and I'm sorry, feel free to discard. But when you say "somebody", it gives the impression that she expects someone to be there. You know, how you may say to a friend "is something wrong", and when you say that, you usually know that something is probably wrong, and that's why you use that particular phrase. "Is anyone there" would indicate more that she has no idea whatsoever who may or may not be there. But ah, this is just me being damaged from just reading a course in English grammar. x]

I think the actual story is wonderful. The concept is adorable and unique. It makes me think of The Beauty and the Beast, in a very good way. So it was excellent. In a few places I felt like you needed a comma for it to flow better, but overall it was very sweet. :)

I enjoyed this, good job. It was a cute little story. :)