January 20th, 2012 at 01:39pm
Hi there,
I think you write well but I believe you repeat words a little too often and sometimes it sort of contradicts what Marina is saying/doing.
For example, Marina is violently telling Eve to stop being stupid despite the fact Marina states she /is/ stupid. Perhaps Marina should have said Eve was acting ridiculous or perhaps deceitfully cruel?
Nevertheless I enjoy your style of writing and shall be following the story.
Beale.
I hate it ... Just for the fact that you're not writing enough!
Write more ... NOW!
Hehe, love from your best, bossy friend :3