Can't Escape My Fate - Comments

Alright, I have to say first of all, this was nearly impossible to read with this layout. It's a quick detractor to most readers. There are some minor spelling and grammar errors, but nothing particularly off-putting. I don't mind short chapters, but I see that a few of the commenters disagree, so perhaps make them a little longer? Otherwise, your writing is good and the plot is tangible and decent. Keep up the good work!

"I could feel Craig's eyes on me, as he hung the phone up. I could feel him searching my face. I could feel his eyes roaming their way over my body. The worst part? I didn't feel nervous, or violated. I felt weak in the knees. I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. And I felt a red hot blush cruise along my face. I'd hoped he didn't notice.

I was about to tell him to please stop staring. But, there was no need; a knock on the door silenced me. He looked away, towards the door. It must have been someone he knew. They seemed to have a code, in the knock. Three short ones. A break. Another short one. That, and the fact that Craig's face had paled, to the extent he almost looked grey."

I really like your writing although, as I said before the chapters are a bit small but otherwise its really good! Also minor spelling errors here and there but nothing mayor :D

Comment Swap: Read the first two chapters, not bad, however there are a couple minor spelling errors like in the first chapter you spelled ignored ignroed I believe. Also sometimes you put unnessessary periods in your sentences when you need to use a comma instead. Still not too bad of astory, though I'm not overly a fan of ETF so I'm not much help when it comes to that aspect. Still, keep at it, good luck!

Comment swap here. I'm just gonna get this out - the layout made it REALLY difficult, almost painful, for me to read. Honestly you should probably consider changing it to something more simple that doesn't distract from your good writing and decent plot.

You explain the characters well and your spelling and grammar is top notch, which is a surprising pleasure these days! Other than that, I don't read ETF fics but this one made me genuinely interested in possibly reading more of them. Oh and one last thing, the chapters (specifically chapter 3, I think) can be awfully short. Maybe you could lengthen them with more description or movement? Just an idea.

Overall, I enjoyed reading your writing and keep up the good work!

Really good! Not liking the short chapters but anyways good!

comment swap keeps bringing me back! guess not a load of people use this feature, huh? Anyway…yeah…same things as before? The smut wasn’t awkward to read at all, actually, which is something I struggle with, personally, so kudos on that one!

-from comment swap.
The layout makes your summary really hard to read! If I didn’t need to comment on this I wouldn’t read it, sorry. The only thing I could see was the ‘terrible summary’ addition you made. I just hate it when authors interrupt the introduction of their own stories; it just ruins the mood you’re working so hard to create. If you don’t like your summary, re-write it, don’t tell me it’s awful! I also turn away from things with warnings/disclaimers – ratings and tags exist for a reason. They do not belong on the main screen of your story. The image is also a little awkward – it just sits there, adding nothing and interrupting the writing. I’d suggest re-arranging your layout and making it a little brighter, and maybe adding a detailed character page rather than a load of more questions. Just add a sentence or two for the main characters, not their half cousin twice removed…good luck with this. It’s definitely got potential.

-from comment swap.
The layout makes your summary really hard to read! If I didn’t need to comment on this I wouldn’t read it, sorry. The only thing I could see was the ‘terrible summary’ addition you made. I just hate it when authors interrupt the introduction of their own stories; it just ruins the mood you’re working so hard to create. If you don’t like your summary, re-write it, don’t tell me it’s awful! I also turn away from things with warnings/disclaimers – ratings and tags exist for a reason. They do not belong on the main screen of your story. The image is also a little awkward – it just sits there, adding nothing and interrupting the writing. I’d suggest re-arranging your layout and making it a little brighter, and maybe adding a detailed character page rather than a load of more questions. Just add a sentence or two for the main characters, not their half cousin twice removed…good luck with this. It’s definitely got potential.

Dear, if you need help writing smut, just ask.

Asdfghjkl I spy a sex god.8

First off, there's still some 'Peyton' in the earlier chapters - I forgot which.

So, interesting plot you've got here with the abuse - especially adding Adrian in it. That's just... sick. But I feel like there's a lot of repeated thoughts in this story. And I like that you've included Gab in this but I wish she didn't have to be the typical bitch haha.

I instantly fell in love with this the moment I started reading. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the computer and now I'm dying for you to update. You are an amazing writer, you actually had me crying a couple times. The characters are awesome and I really enjoy the story. Please continue to update and I'll be waiting faithfully for you to do so(:

I think you should do a couple of Ronnie/Jessie chapters :O That'd make this story more awesome than it already is<3.
If you don't mind me being nosy, how comes you're back with your stepdad? :/

What happened? Why are you back with your stepdad?

What happened? Why are you back with your stepdad?

I've had those images many times.
And yes he does. One of my friends went to Warped Tour in 09 and met the band, and they decided a measuring party was in order. Lucky bitch got to see his piercing. I can tell you the order they are in in size.

O.O the thought of Craig Masturbating..... *WOMAN BONER!* lol what uh i didn't do anything wait.. where am i? OH YEAH Gabriel as expected BITCH......... I love this so so so so so so much >.<

I aim to make people giggle with my epicness ;) haha XD You're welcome XDD Gabrielle is a total BIITTCCCHHHHH. They were about to make out and hsgadfgkhla T-T In reality, I ADORE Gab. She's awesome c: In the story? BITCH YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK! D:< I still wanna steal Leila >.>
Mental images of Craig masturbating? WOMAN. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?! e.e *secretly enjoys the thoughts of Craig masturbating* lolwut? XD<3.
Cannot wait for the next update<3.

I usually don't go for sexual abuse/abuse stories, but this one I didn't read all the abuse parts so I was able to keep going with it.
Leila Rose, cute as always!
Gabrielle (much respect for her and Craig's relationship don't get me wrong) TOTAL BITCH!
Craig, gotta love the perverted and protective sides.
Ronnie has GOT to jump on Jessie soon!

HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US LIKE THIS?!?!