Roots Beneath Ideals - Comments

@ seabluelight
Aww thank you <33

This is perfect <3

@ heyyitskee
<333333333

@ CourageKeeper
I'm hoping to update this sunday lovely

this is so cute.
When are you going to update?

I'm just going to write my comments as I read the story so sorry if it seems odd.

Try to write because and not cause.
“the farther you, the closer you get.” think there should be an ARE in there somewhere.
I'm really confused, is it boyfriend or husband?

I'm really sorry, but I got bored with the lengthy speech. Try and add more description into it and less speech and it might work better.
Other than that its seems to be working pretty well.
I wish you luck :)

you are just an amazing writer, the story is perfectly built up, I love it. watch out at the dialogs, sometimes it's hard to tell who's saying what, anyway it's good plot, update soon

Ahhh I just love all you PTV stories! Please update soon! I'm so anxious to see how Vic and Keri end up (: <3

Comment swap sent me here.

I have a vague idea of who Pierce the Veil are (my sister likes them) but I'm not a fan, so any glaring mistakes with characters will be completely lost on me, haha! I find your layout to be incredibly difficult to read. The white-on-pale-green gives me a major headache, and I had to swap to the default layout.

In the first chapter, your sentence structure can be a bit off. "The first year here I decided I would take summer school cause I wanted to finish school as fast as I could so if I was accepted to Harvard, I'd already have most of my studies finished." is a really long sentence, and I find it kind of gruelling to read. Maybe try cutting it down a bit. Your tense swaps quite a bit as well. For instance, you start by saying "Finally I'm out of high school", but then you say "I began to smile". To correct that, you would either have to change the first sentence to "I was finally out of high school", or the second to "I begin to smile". Small things like that could help make your writing top-notch. I also find the amount of dialogue that you've used quite...boring? I'm not too sure on how to word it. I think your work could benefit from more description.

And onto the positive! You've obviously put a lot of thought into your relationships, and this is evident when you write Vic and Keri and their relationship together. You've got a unique writing style, and, even with the errors I pointed out above, it still shines through. Your plot seems well-thought-out, and you put a lot of passion into your writing.

I wouldn't usually read something like this, but I do commend you on the potentially fabulous story you're writing. Just keep an eye on your grammar and tense while you'rewriting. Well done! :)

I love all of your stories :)

Comment Swapper :')
Never Heard OfnPierce The Veil But the stories amazing very well written! I'm only on the 3rd chapter but I will continue reading as it is such a good story!
You have a very particular writing style you also capture the essence of a you relationship very well!

Uh, can't do cliffhanger like that. I love this and need more.

Sent here from Comment Swap

I'm not a big fan of Pierce The Veil but this is okay, I thought the theme was simple and the bright colours were a nice change, your a good writer and I like that I finally found a Fanfiction with lots of chapters!

Keep writing and good luck!

Love this story

I really like this story! I can't wait to find out about the true Tyson. I hope things work out between her and Vic. (:

Yes, I lovvve this story! Finally found a good PTV story where the guys aren't in high school. Thank you and hope you update soon!

Comment swapper here. I'm not a Pierce the Veil fan but I guess that doesn't really matter. First of all, your layout is really distracting. It's to spread out. And your grammar could definitely use some work. The first chapter is really long and it kind of drones on. Just my opinion. The story is pretty good. And I do like the chapter titles. Great job.

Here from Comment Swap!

You have serious talent! Your writing style is edgy, and unique, and, if moulded properly, could become phenomenal! I'm definitely going to have to take the time to read the prequel!

xo Pika.

Brought by comment swap, but I'm so glad that it brought me to this stroy, of all the stories it could have!
But, anyways. Wow. I love this story! Keep it up, it's going great so far. I love how there's a lot of dialougue, it keeps me interested in the story, which I like. :D I'm recommending this, and subscribing. c:

Eh. I'm no grammar nazi (obviously glaring errors suck), but minor mistakes are easy enough to look past. As for the dialogue thing - rather have more than less. I hate it when people describedescribedescribe and nothing else. Finding a happy medium is best.

Keep it up. The only way to improve on everything everyone has mentioned is to keep writing! x