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Woah...
This story is going great, whenever you feel that your ready to continue i hope its soon, because why was that chapter inportant?

Yeah it is going great but hey, you should update so I know why it's important *wink wink

I love how you've set this up with the years going by and everything. Your doing a great job and I hope to read more.

I have to be honest- this isn't the kind of thing I'd read on my own, but I'm going to try to treat it objectively.

Your layout is nice. The colours all work together well, and it's overall bright and easy to read. The only thing I'd suggest changing is the colour of the font, which is a little light. I couldn't really say whether the colour and themes in the banner suit the characters, because I'm not familiar with the people this fanfic is based on. Insofar as the story seems to be about two boys growing up, and possibly childhood things being left behind, I don't think you have any problems.

The first chapter flowed relatively well. I think you've taken the cheesiness factor a bit over the top, but then, maybe you're trying to ham it up. If that's the case, then, again, this is unproblematic. You even have some good pieces of description, like this one:

His new baby brother, the best thing he had ever seen. Better by far than Barney and Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse put together. He stared at the baby for a while. Tufts of light brown hair adorned his fragile- looking head. His mouth hung slightly open and a small gloved hand rested beneath his head. He didn’t get to see the eyes that Aunt Lydia had been going on about though- the baby was asleep.

I like the way that relates back to both things that have been described before, and context (such as the older boy's tastes) which hadn't been introduced yet. I think it's the best thing you did in that chapter.

The second chapter is quite short, but I think you're just using it to build up a timeline, so that's fine. The third and fourth chapters is similar. From a strictly storytelling perspective, I don't think it's necessary to go into this much detail with background events, especially when the main plot has yet to be established. You could probably compress a lot of these trivial events into a series of flashbacks, or a brief chapter on general history. This being said, perhaps all the detail is there for fans of the real people, who might not find it so tedious.

The fifth chapter seems to actually be where the story starts. Again, from a storytelling perspective, I think that's a problem. Even if you want to keep all that earlier detail in there, you could have introduced this main plot earlier, such as in a prologue. That's just something to consider.

You said you wanted feedback on these last few chapters particular, because you're unsure about them. I'm not certain what you meant by that. To me, they didn't stand out as stylistically different from the others.

Your execution is identical, and you don't have issues with flow or spelling/grammar. There's one point at the end of the fifth chapter where you have dialogue starting a long way into a paragraph- you could probably split that up. Some of the small extracts in the sixth chapter, particularly the last one, seem to have just a little bit of context missing. Because you have so many little parts like that, it comes across as fractured. I honestly think that narration is a better way of conveying small moments than just breaking up scenes. The same goes for the jump between chapters six and seven.

Really, I didn't find any major problems with this, although, as I say, I'm not familiar with the fandom. You might want somebody who is to have a look at substantive issues, or check that all that background detail at the start doesn't drag.

Good luck writing!

hmmm important information... Perhaps the fact that Gerard automatically thought of Bradley, that link there, how perhaps he's already thinking about Bradley too much or something... Or maybe it was about the hazards of fishing lol not only boring but life threatening too. Poor animals at the zoo, there's no path to the happy hunting ground through water.

*thumbs up cus I dunno what to write*

Oh crap I just realized the story I was recommeded I thinkmay have been a different one. Oops!
But no matter, please still keep writing!

This is so cool. I have to say your buddy Vintage Arsenic recommended reading your stuff, and I'm glad she did! I'm probably going to go check out your Mr. Mikey Way ones now, but please keep writing this one! Love it so far!
Row

While this isn’t something I would pick to read normally I liked the idea of the story.
It may be worth going back and rewording it in places to help it flow better. For example you use names many times in short sentences. It might be better to link the sentences and use other words to help the writing flow.
Gerard was a few pages into the book when Mikey began to cry from the room next to Gerard’s. Gerard quickly dropped his book on his bed and ran over to Mikey’s room. He stood beside Mikey’s Moses basket. “Mikey,” he whispered
This might flow better is
Gerard was a few pages into the book when Mikey began to cry from the next room. Gerard quickly dropped his book onto the bed and ran over to his brother’s room. He stood next to the Moses basket “Mickey,” he whispered.
However this is a fairly minor thing and the story flowed fairly well. I think a few minor tweaks would just help to improve an already intriguing story.

You are born gay. It's a fact, there's no choice in it. If the mom gets abit stressed and gets an extra burst testosterone they turn out gay. It said so in a book :)
I like this story it's sweet.

This is a great update! There are some really interesting things about this chapter. Like how Mikey is starting to realize his feelings but can't put a proper name to it and how other people are starting to come into Gerard's life. I really liked this chapter and this story is very original and super interesting. The idea and fabulous writing style really catches your attention. This is amazing. Great job!

That's a rather interesting debate for the eighth graders to be having. I think Gerard had a really valid point there, about choosing to be gay, its nature not nurture that creates those factors, you can't be 'turned gay'. Gerard is quite the optimist, isn't he? So very sweet about the idea of love. Love is love. Such idealism. Will he live by this or will this just end up hurting him?

Hmmm, what to think of Bradley Spencer... like any other fourteen-year-old boy, I suppose, mean and selfish and in possession of such a meagre vocabulary. I wasn't surprised that Gerard became friends with him again. Mikey may be his 'best friend' by his standings, but he will always need friends his own age. But I'm curious about Bradley... is his character going to become something important?