Pyren: Lost Paradise - Comments

Hey^^,
so i just wanted to tell you that i really like this story and you should continue writting iit because it seems like you stopped... so yea!!!
-N

Really good story, has a nice hook and chapter 2 lived up to my expectations.
Keep writing,

R

Heyy C:,
I love it.... Keep writting it's awesome

I LOVE IT!!!
I love how you describe the place he is differently, first really horrible then nice then dull and serious looking makes me wounder what the other parts of the house are like.

I also love how the girl is described and how you made your character feel all these emotions and how you desribed the guard and prince.

I also want to know about the men at the beggining where.

You got me woundering a lot about the chapter keep up the good work :)

I like it, it has left me woundering what is goning to happen next.
There was one mistake but I see someone else has pointed that out, just need to edit on word.
Please write the next chapter soon, I wanna see what happens and who the people where, I would also like to know about the characters background, who they are, how they got there.
Keep up the good work :)

Hi :D

First, I really like the beginning. The way you describe the actions of the character are really good and really smooth. A lot better than anything I could write. Generally my actions are kind of vague and general, but no matter :)

One mistake I noticed towards the end: "With a shower of dirt and wood, to men entered my little shelter and came directly for me."

It should be "With a shower of dirt and wood, two men entered my little shelter and came directly for me."

Other than that, good :) I'll keep an eye out of your stuff ;)