This Is Just A Bad Dream - Comments

I kind of clicked on this at random, even though it's not usually the type of story I read, and I ended up reading the whole thing. Story-wise, I think you've gotten something really interesting here. I just have a couple suggestions to make it better, if you'll take them.

1. I'd suggest more description in your story. You have a lot of dialogue, and that's important, but the reader should be able to visualize the character as well. So not only will it change from being a line of description and a line of dialogue like a script is written, but it will also make your chapters longer.

2. There were some grammar mistakes in there, and I know how annoying it is to go back through and check for them. Most people like writing for fun, and think it's a pain to have to re-read the chapter. The "submit" button is just so easy to click. That's why I'd like to suggest finding an editor. Believe it or not, there are a bunch of people who enjoy spell/grammar checking things. I can name a few people on here I know, including myself if you're interested.

You don't have to take any of this into account, it's really just a suggestion. If anything is unclear you can ask me, but otherwise good luck on your story.

Oh Gosh I love it sooooo freaking much! cant wait for the next update. Twins! :D

This is really good :3 I like it!

Keep updating a lot cos it's a really fun story to read and I'm just glad Rei's gonna try to be more social at the very least towards Elora <33333

xo
BJ

Aaaaaaah I want more c: it's so good

Such a good story. Update asap :)

I'm enjoying it !

Luv it you should totally update soon plz

update update

i like it so far :D