All the Things She Said - Comments

I just became a member on here 2days ago, and ive been hooked on this book, sometimes i even forget im reading, i become so immeresed in the book, that whrn i stop readin, i expect lillian to come walking down the hall. Im not a onedirection fanatic, i like them, but not alot, but this is amazing, i can relate to everything in some way or another with my life, you should really think about becoming a writer. Good job. ( by the way, im 13, and wanting to become a writer) good job!!! Best thing ive read in so long. You should read The Hollow by Jessica Verday if ur into the supernatural stuff. Amazing. Love ya, kep writin, dontget discouraged, have faith in ur work

Ew. Alex is such a twerp...

Aww Lillian you really didn't have to do that you know... ugh I hate Alex. It isn't okay that he punched her! Ugh asdfjkl; update soon!

Uh-ohhh... what is Alex gonna do? And oh my god I was tearing up at the part where Harry was crying... it's just so horrible :(
Awesome chapter, tho - make sure to update soon :)

What is going to happen?
Loved the chapter love. Update soon?

Aha :) Dani, Dani, Dani. This chapter was brilliant. :)

Wow I've been away for a while but finally caught up on this story and I just have to say that I absolutely love it! Update soon!

Hm...this is seems interesting.

I've only read the first chapter but, I already like the characters. Lily herself is a very interesting, complex type of character. After all, sometimes, it's hard to write shy, especially her type of extreme shyness. I hope that, if I end up reading further (I will admit, it takes me a while to get into a story, I'm very, very bad at that, and I apologize).

Of course, the other characters are interesting too, and I find the dynamic between all of them to be equally fascinating. The emotion is also somehow leaking through, which is a sign of good writing, indeed!

So, basically, I like what I see thus far, and might continue reading...though, like I said before, I'm awful at getting into a story...

Good job overall though, and, I must say, the grammar was pretty darn good too. It's nice to see that on the internet *laughs*. Thanks for a good story!

First off, I just want to apologize that it took me so long to read this story in its entirety after you asked me to check it out. Life was just super busy. But I finally found time. :D

Now that I've expressed that, I really love this concept. I think it's brilliant, and I think you definitely have a talent for telling a story and expressing emotions. I feel for Lilly and her home situation, and I want more than anything for her to be free. And I want her to get back with Harry and get away from Alex, who's slowly starting to act just like Landon. I don't appreciate that. :p Hahahaaha.

There are grammar errors and spelling errors, but those are easily fixable. Overall, this story is really awesome, and I can wait to read more. :D

This is really good. Good grammar and wording! The emotions seem true and the whole situation is quite sad, to be honest. The end of chapter 6 was so cute! It's safe to say I couldn't stop reading. Your writing is very realistic, and something I really enjoyed reading! Keep it up!

This is a good story. I think the plot is creative, and Lillian's whole situation is so sad. :( You're a good descriptive writer, the emotions come off well, as well as all the other little things. I really enjoyed the balcony/room scene with Harry in Chapter 3. The last line with Hannah Montana was magical :) it was like the perfect ending.
In chapter 8 though, the break between Harry's note and the rest of the story was a little confusing and abrupt to me. And you have a number of small editing/grammatical errors. If you want me to message you the list so you can fix them I can do that. :)

Alrighty, I love the summer. It's simple and strong. I'll be commenting on each chapter as I read because well, yeah :)

Truthfully, I had a hard time understanding most of the storyline in the beginning. Also with the flow. But I like your writing. It's quick and vivid.

And I would also suggest, to make it more understandable for the readers, to italicize your flashbacks. I can follow with them, just to safe on any confusion. :)

Although, I'm still reading most of it. haha. I like it! Thanks for telling me about it. :D

This is really good. Amazing actually that I read it all in one day when I should be sleeping. Now, I'm going to be sleep deprived on my first day of school, but I'm not going to regret a thing. Can't wait for the next chapter, love!

Really good so far. I hope you stick with it and I can't wait to read more. Update soon?

a bit confusing, but I'm writing this as I read each chapter, so maybe I'll get used to them.

Chapter One:
"So Lillian, what corner are you working tonight," Landon asked, referring to my dress, making everyone laugh.

"Liam, leave your sister alone," my mom said slapping his hands like a small child whilst still laughing. I’m a bit confused on this part. Is his name Landon or Liam?

Chapter Two:
I noticed that some of your paragraphs aren’t spaced out properly in this chapter, mainly in the beginning. It’s an easy fix and will save you from being reported from incorrect formatting :) Also, I really like how you describe everything. You use really good words that aren’t always used like “somberly” and such, and it’s always refreshing to see that in a fan fiction :)

Chapter Three:
Your introduction of Harry Styles in the third chapter is very good and I really like it. The fact that he saved her from falling is admirable to say the least, and I really like it. I love the fact that he doesn’t want to ruin her night after she declares her hate for him. It’s a well written seen for sure and I really liked it.

Lucas is really suck, honestly. So far I definitely hate his guts. He’s got no reason to blame Lillian for Lakota’s death since it wasn’t her fault. He needs to suck it up and realize it’s not her fault.

I love the little things in this chapter. The fact that she says she was comfortable around Harry enough to lay down beside him on his bed and look up at the glow in the dark stickers and sayings. Stuff like that makes me happy to read :) I love the stickers and sayings. I can totally picture Harry having those on his roof! Her story about getting close to Lakota is really heart breaking and I feel so badly for her because it’s so true. That sort of thing happens a lot and I love the fact that Lakota was close to her. The fact that Harry is also very kind to her is really great to. He’s not pushy at all and he wants her to take her time talking to her. I love it.

Hannah Montana? I love that. He’s so adorable.

Chapter Four:
Harry defending his honor is brilliant. When he says he wouldn’t sleep with her because of what happened to her is great and I loved that part. I really love Alex’s character. He seems like what a brother should be.

Chapter Five:
"What's wrong," I whispered into my ear I think it should be “he” instead of “I.”

Chapter Six:
"You make me silly," he said with a sigh as he stopped to laugh. I seriously love that line. It’s so simple and so lovely that it’s just great. It’s lighthearted and perfect for the scene in the story.

“You dirty nudist.” HAH! Oh my goodness. When they were making out, I kind of feared for her for a while, thinking she’d snap and break, but she didn’t and I’m proud of her. Lucas...I’m starting to like him a little bit more. At least he has some shred of humanity. Landon...I feel like Harry is going to snap one day and beat the tar of him one day...I hope so...

Chapter Seven:
Them making cookies in the bakery is perhaps the best thing I’ve ever read. I love it so much and it’s hilarious. Her cheekiness is perfectly suited for Harry. They’re probably the cutest couple/match up I’ve read. Perfectly suited.

Chapter Eight:
Niall. ‘Nuff said.

Chapter Nine:
"Hey Emily, on a scale from one to ten how upset would you be if I told you I got food on my clothes," Niall asked as we got closer to the dressing rooms.

"God Niall, how many time do I have to tell you not to eat in your nice clothes," Emily shouted, playfully hitting him. I laughed as I went into the model side. And there was much laughing. It was so adorable and I laughed so much, you have no idea.

Chapter Ten:
"I thought all boy bands could dance. No offense, but you screw up walking," I shot back at him, still not looking at him. I heard him let out a laugh that quickly died. God, Lilly is kick ass! I can’t believe she came up with that. I also just realized there was a massive time skip that I missed because I didn’t realize that she and Harry broke up and parted ways and that she and Alex started dating. I’m terrible at reading, but I’ve got it now XD

Chapter Eleven:
Nothing really to say other than I love Louis.

Chapter Twelve:
I love Eleanor. I adore how you wrote her and how awesome she is. The only thing I didn’t like in this chapter was the last line. “What had I gotten myself into?” That line is cliche and I hate it. It always kills me...

Chapter Thirteen:
Your description of Harry is absolutely killing me. When Lillian walks into his room and apologizes and he apologizes, that scene. The entire chapter, really. Her war with herself about liking the hug but not wanting to at the same time is absolutely amazing. I love it.

Chapter Fourteen:
The entire beginning of the chapter, everything with the dialogue is lovely. A newborn kitten? A massive yes. Her self harm is horrible, I know it’s hard to deal with. Louis telling her not to do that anymore is absolutely crazy beautiful. He’s such a lovely character. I hope in the next chapter there’s a confrontation between Harry and Lillian about the kiss. A bigger confrontation than just stating that they kissed and such.

Overall, a lovely story and I really do love it. I can’t wait for more!

I really enjoy your style of writing. I love it when a author makes it fun for me to read! I believe that this is something that could have happened, because your writing made it believable.
You might just want to go through the story again because it has a few spelling and word issues. They are not that noticeable but they are there. Once again I love love love, and I dont even like one direction!

Comment swap led me here, and I must say. I enjoyed this story much more than I imagined I would. The sentence structure was beautifully put together, and you really felt the characters emotions throughout the whole thing. I'm not a fan of One Direction, but this stry was amazing. You have done an excellent job on this story. Once I started, I couldn't stop. This story deserves props. Bravo, you did an amazing job, and I hope you continue to do so throughout your stories.

I kind of really love this story :)
It just draws you in :)
Please update soon :)

Awesome update! Update sooooon!

Loved loved loved the new chapter! I really liked reading Harry get hurt after she pretended that she didn't know him. He got what he deserved!
I was just really mad at him...
Haha update soon?