She Spoke - Comments

@ Katie Mosing
I will try and edit and then restart.

You really should! Someone reced this to me and I was so sad that it only had two chapters!!

@ Katie Mosing
I've actually been contemplating that for a long time.

Come back to this!! It's so intriguing!

This story is amazing. I so want to see what Estelle does when dealing with Tucker in the next chapter. Please update this soon? :D

So I just read your other story and left a comment on that page, but I am going to leave on on this page too...PLEASE UPDATE THIS ONE TOO!!!!!!!!

Your writing style is superb and nothing short of fantastically unique. I love this little story and the concept of it. I think it would make a great chaptered story. The detail in this is great as is the spelling and grammar. This story has so much potential and it's just, ugh, I'm lost for words ahah.

Keep up the great work! :)

This is amazing. You have comments from February 5th, though! Do you plan on updating?

I spied the Disney reference as well :)

I like this, a lot. It reminds me a little of the rules of society around where I live only it's not as bad.

You have a very, very pretty layout. It goes beautifully with the tone and concept of the story. It seems to say that yes, women are only to be seen; with their beautiful faces and subservient behaviour (portrayed well with the bowed head on your banner) and not heard. At all.

The summary is nice. I'd be honest and say that it didn't exactly pique my interest, but if I had been a random reader, I'd definitely had clicked anyway because of your short description.

I like that you do a little background intro before getting things rolling. It won't get confusing for the reader here on out, that's for sure. You use a good writing tone, and the sentences seem to flow alright. There are no hesitating sentences, or awkward phrases.

The King does that because he was stupid enough to fall for a Siren? Wow. Stupid, idiotic King person. And now I really wanna know who the "she" is.

There is a little nit pick though. It seems as if your summary could do without this line:

This Law, the one that had never been broken since its creation centuries ago, is punishable by beheading.

Especially because you explain the Law in your first chapter and it seems to serve as a sort of anti-climax for your summary. Just a suggestion though.

Anyway, you're a talented writer and this story has some real potential. I can't wait for an update.

Let me just say, wow. This is super interesting and very ingenious. I am actually a little speechless trying to give you a comment. I like the quote on Ursula at the start and it kinda led me to think this was a mermaid story until I read on. The reason for the vow of silence was very unique and I really liked that. On the whole I enjoyed your story and I would very much love to read more. You are a very talented writer in my opinion =)

Dude, I love this. I like seriously like it a lot, and this is probably not what you were aiming for or maybe it was but I totally thought of The Little Mermaid. The silence that Ursula curses Ariel with just was in the back of my mind throughout the entire chapter. It was really good. I believe I'm going to have to subscribe to this. I like that you have an actual back story as to why they law of silence was passed rather than, btw they have to be quiet. Why? Don't know, they just do. Great job.

I cannot even begin to find the words to describe how superb that first chapter was. It was utterly amazing. Had me hooked right from the very beginning, and the last line was brilliant. There were a few instances where I thought emphasis or a comma might be useful - but the one thing they are not is to be heard - I think not should be emphasised. And when using a hyphen, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put a space between it on both sides - like that :)
But aside from that, it was wonderful. You're an amazing writer.

The layout is completely gorgeous. Just by reading the summary, I can tell that this is going to be an interesting story with a wonderful concept.

Holy crud. The first chapter was completely amazing. I love the story behind the law. It's a pretty legit reason, but it shows how scared the men are of being wooed by a siren that might not even come back again. But anyway, this, like I said before, seems like it's gonna be a really magnificant story. I'm subscribing and I can't wait to read what happens next. :)

I find this to be a wonderful piece. It automatically just caught my attention and led me to stay. The way everything just flows and connects together is amazing. Your ability to write this is just wow. I love you, and slightly jealous of it. X3 I can't wait what the rest of this story leads to!

SGSFGG
Love it. It's wonderfully written and I adore this story already. And I'm eager to hear why the girl spoke and who she is and all that jazz and I'm sorry for saying and so many times.

Like electric goat said, that paragraph is a little confusing but I think I caught your drift.

Seriously though, I'm hella excited to read more. Update or I'll cry or something.

The layout and the summary are stunning. I love the concept and I think it's great that you've come up with such an amazing idea!

Girls were allowed to speak when with a man, but not for too long. At the age of ten, they were required to take what has come to be known as the Oath of Silence, which prohibited them from speaking around men. From that point on, you were only allowed to speak when by yourself or in the company of women. A girl may not even speak if alone with her husband or to any man under any circumstances- not even to her male children. She may speak to her female children, but only if she took her out of the house and far away from the father or her brother.

This is confusing. The paragraph starts saying women can speak around men a little, but then later it says she can never speak around a man, ever. I would also like to know where this kingdom is, and just a little more about it.

Overall, this is great and I will for sure be checking back to see how it goes. Great job!

Summary: I spy a Disney reference! Poor Unfortunate Souls! :D I was watching that yesterday. Okay, so first off, the layout and banner is gorgeous - but yours always are. Plain, simple and utterly beautiful. You should be commended.

I absolutely adore the summary. It's precise and to the point, but leaves the reader hanging and builds up suspense. The wording, and the capitalisation of 'Law' makes the summary beautiful and yet inherently terrifying. I'm terrified of 'the Law' already, dammit.

Two things, however: get's a man... - 'gets' has no apostrophe :)
it's creation... same problem - it should have no apostrophe.
Other than that, I cannot wait to read more!

The layout is gorgeous and the summary is lovely. I'm really interested and hope you write and post the first chapter soon. Seriously, it's all beautiful.
Subbed.