August 28th, 2012 at 02:19pm
hello Im from commetn swap!
first of all I have to say that Nine in the Afternoon is an amazing song and I absolutley love it!
I really liked yyour layout, it was very nicely thought of. I did think the pink title againts the layout could hardly be seen. It would be better if you did something with that.
Your story and plot are beautifuly written and very much thought of. I can see that you planned out everything before you wrote. I think you should check some of your sentances, some are gramatically incorrect or you need to seperate them.
Other than that this story is very good. I highly reccomend that you keep going and do not stop. I'm starting to enjoy this story!
First of all I'd like to say that your story concept is pretty amazing, I love Panic at the disco so great Song Choice :)
I think you should definitely keep going with your story, even though you said you haven't been inspired recently.
Maybe try to create a mood board, or list of things you want to happen in the future of your story?
Also, I just wanted to point out that you could do with separating your paragraphs a bit better as it makes it hard to read.
You could always ask one of your friends to be a beta-reader, so they can point out little bits you need to correct before you post it.
But other than that, your story is pretty awesome. So keep going! Good luck :')