Thursday's Child - Comments

I’m here as the new judge for the ‘10 Ways To…’ contest.

The premise of this was really intriguing, mostly because it wasn’t an arranged marriage for Piper could have said no or walked away at any given moment. I actually thought it was going to turn into a love triangle thing with Daniel’s first appearance because I could tell that there was some romantic history between them. The funny thing is, it did actually end up being a love triangle—only in the sense that Piper was marrying Taylor and still kind of pining after Daniel. Although it’ll sound weird to say, I appreciate that she didn’t leave Taylor nor did she fall in love with him by the end. It would’ve been a simple fix-all situation to give her a happy ending, but you didn’t. I think it added more weight that it was an unhappy ending since Daniel was dead. Piper not only married the person she didn’t want, but she did it with a broken heart, knowing that she would never even see Daniel again.

But to be honest, I… honestly did not like Piper at all. I understood her frustration and she was young so everything was overwhelming, but she was an incredibly selfish and manipulative person. It showed in the way she treated Taylor especially and abused his feelings for her to get what she wanted. All of her theatrics when she didn’t get what she wanted or it didn’t happen the way she wanted made her seem very childish. It was really hard to connect with her when she was the focus on the entire story. I didn’t really feel pity or empathy at all towards her because I just didn’t like her one bit. She gets so pissed with Taylor when she doesn’t even talk to him or tell him what he’s done wrong; like I understood being mildly annoyed about the house, but she blew it out of proportion, in my opinion. I really, really understand that she got herself into a shitty situation that she didn’t want to be in so she was kind of lashing out, but she doesn’t handle it very well at all and she did do it to herself really. It left me feeling incredibly detached from her so I couldn’t actually connect to the story on a whole. I kind of just read it without any emotional attachment whatsoever. It left me feeling so… empty and unsatisfied. I think it was your goal to make Piper this kind of person, but it made it so hard for me to connect.

Also I like italics as much as the next person, but the amount of times you italicized ‘fucking’ was so distracting. Italicizing usually implies emphasis and to emphasize ‘fucking’ nearly every single time someone said it or even when Piper just used the word in her narrative created such an awkward flow in the prose. I liked your writing style because it was simple, but unapologetic in how sharp it would become. You created consistent and solid surroundings, and I always knew how everyone was feeling by the amount of detail you gave in expressions or how someone would say something. There was never a point where I thought it was dry and got side-tracked or skimmed. Your prose is actually smooth and easy to read, definitely. It’s just the way you would italicize certain words, mostly ‘fucking’. There was one point in chapter six where you did it three times in the span of two shortish paragraphs.

Overall, I did like how you used all 30 of the prompts from the contest. It created a really interesting story with a lot of emotional depth and drama. There were some things, of course, but it was well-written and luring so good job.

Oh my god! How could you kill Daniel? I'm like so sad now!

Although I'm sure there's a reason for it, but whyyy?

Oh dear, I hope they're all right and maybe this will somehow manage to bring them closer.

I just wanted to tell you, brilliant title and cover.

I haven't much time for reading right now and that's really burning. I took a look and this is so intriguing.

So, is she coming to accept Taylor? I quite liked Daniel, even if they do have their problems.

I've decided that I'm in love with this. Piper is stupid, but I like her, even if she did accept a proposal to a guy she hates. I like that she smokes, works at a bookstore, and is ridiculously cold, although she has a past with a guy that she can't let go.

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Ooh........I'd forgotten about this
Update soon!<3

This is so amazing. Hah, I had to make myself stop reading on chapter four so I could comment. This is the kind of book that if I had picked it up (of course it would be finished and published) I wouldn't be able to stop reading until I finish it. There's just so many different things, and you put her thoughts about everything there, and I already feel like I'm connecting with the character. Of course, that means you can't ever kill her or I will bawl like a baby xD Hope you write more! This is really awesome!

I gotta say this is actually thought provoking. I can't help but feel there's more to Piper than what we have seen so far. Poor thing smoking a thousand cigarettes from stress, Allison is kind of annoying lol.
I enjoyed it, I'll sub to it.

Wow, this is really powerful. I like how deep it is, like there's a lot more going on than is immeditely obvious. Your writing style flows really well too.

The end was strange, her saying yes when she was obviously uncomfortable. But I'm going to subscribe, because I'm intriuged. Keep up the good work!