I'll Keep You My Secret... - Comments

Poor Neeko.
Please update some more!

This is actually pretty good. The default layout is fine and I like your concept, although it doesn't really hook me in. I think you should focus more on the interaction between Alex and Neeko and about Neeko being a cat -- just add more details in general. The name Neeko seems odd to me -- is it supposed to be stand for something or sound Japanese or what? A lot of your grammar is pretty atrocious, mostly capitalization and mixed up commas and periods, and the punctuation at the end of the title should not be there, but I think you are on the right path. I noticed that you make more grammatical errors as Neeko than as Alex, which I suspect might be intentional, but it just makes the story hard to read. I don't understand why Alex runs away and comes back home so fast after saving Neeko from a fire, nor why he bothered going into the government place in the first place or how Neeko knew what cars were and why he'd seen pictures of them, but I guess it's a fantasy story and I shouldn't question it. Keep working on this, though, you're on the right track!

It's actually just really good omg I can't even criticize anything ahh it's just perfect okay

Very interesting story. Deffently. I like the idea of it, its not my type of story but the idea is deffently interesting. I like your style of writing, you have a nice amount of detail and action. You are a very nice writer. :)

Even if the story is not for me I have a feeling it is for someone. :) keep it up :D

Keep writing!!

So the first chapter was alright, but you will need to fix your grammer. You have plenty of mistakes that need to be fixed. The layout is nice also because I love purple. Your plot line seems really good and I hope you continue, but fix your mistakes and I know people will enjoy your story more. I also love your picture lol :)

the beginning of the first chapter wasn't in his POV, it was in third point of view? and then you switched to his point of view.
your grammar is...terribly upsetting. All of this dots are unnecessary, your dialogue is completely incorrect almost all of the time, your capitalization is almost nonexistent or in the wrong places, your spelling is incorrect, and your writing in general is amateur, immature, and unrealistic.
i understand that fantasy stories aren't supposed to be realistic, but if they aren't supposed to be realistic they can still be mature. the story you came up with for Neeko doesn't even sound...possible or persuadable at all. It's just...way too off the wall.
The layout makes it very hard to read and even hurts my eyes and the colors clash. Also, the picture is kind of...typical and stereotypical in a way.
I don't know.

You have a few grammar errors and you need quite a few letters capitalized at the beginning of a character's sentence. I really like your lay out! Black and purple are my two favorite colors. I like the whole idea of the story and Neeko being created in a lab. Lol for some reason it reminds of Kyle XY However I don't think the picture has to be there for every chapter it is kind of distracting. It's fine for the summary though. And as for the spelling errors you can just use Microsoft word and carefully re-read your chapters, it isn't error proof however. I use it and still find errors later on or some one will notice something. The story itself is quite interesting though and I rather enjoy it :) Oh and I seen twice that you typed successes you should really fix that. I see all the other comments and the other users seemed to have spotted a few errors so now that you know what the errors are and where they are you should fix it. Well that's about all I have to say. :) I really like it. Have a wonderful day :)

The layout really hurts my eyes; it's too blinding and really hurts my eyes. The top picture is also too long - maybe think about finding another or altering its size?

Your grammar and spelling is actually really poor - have you thought about maybe getting a beta? One could really help with your plot line and wording too!

I do think that the first dialogue in the story should have end punctuation [; and then the word machines after it, should be capitalized. Successes doesn't need to be successes it could be success and still sound good.

“now this wont hurt a bit” The N in now should be capitalized and it's missing end punctuation.
Just looking it over, or typing it in Word next time should help with the next chapters grammar and spelling. Good luck, it sounds interesting [:

I have to say this thanks to comment swap:
Oh my god, I love it.Comment swap gave this to me and I read the summary, I was like, "Oh, my cat's name is Neeko. :3." but anyways, after I read I was like, "HOLLYFUCKINGCRAP. This is good!" Well... besides a few errors, but I do that, too.
Keep up the good work.<3

The layout is a bit hard on the eyes; I find the text a bit hard to read.

They mixed his DNA with that of a feline, to see if they could give him cat-like abilitys. abilitys should be abilities.

When he see's a fence, and on the other side, a burning building! see's should be sees. I also suggest revising the sentence structure, as it sounds awkward.

Leaving Neeko chained up inside...! The end punctuation is incorrect. You should take out either the ellipsis or the exclamation point, as it's proper to have only one.

For the first chapter, you should separate your paragraphs. There should be a space between each line, as that is Mibba's rules.

The creature, looking only aged 5 stepped out, before Falling, one of the scientists caught it, and took it away to a lab to check for life signs. Falling should not be capitalized, because it's not starting a sentence and is not a proper noun.

“Embryo 42 was a successes” I think you mean success instead of sucessess? Also, you need end punctuation.

Cant move. Im alone. Don't forget your apostrophes for the contractions.

“now come on you freak. Times a-wasting.” [i/] The first line should be capitalized and you might want to fix that tag at the end.

“come on Neeko, time to see if we can actually get you to learn proper words” You need to capitalize the beginning of the sentence and you need punctuation at the end of it.

I suggest you read this over a few times and fix the grammar and spelling mistakes if you want to improve this story. I wish you the best of luck.

please update soon!

Neeko is so sweet I would never want to leave him

Neeko is probably the cutest thing ever! ^.^ I love it! And I love how the two points of view are written and distinguished.

D'aww please update when you can :) I have no other words x)

awwwwwwww please update

Aww Neeko your so cute and Alex is the best

Oh my gosh Neeko!!! You are just the cutest sweetest thing ever!!! :' )
Aww, Alex is warming up to little Neeko!
Can't wait for your next update! <3

AWWWW Neeko your just the cutest thing I want a kid just like him

I can imagine Neeko with those toys and he is so freaking adorable that I almost can't stand it >.<
I wonder what's going to happen next because one of those kids seems to know who Alex is!
Please update soon I love your story <3