Accidents Happen - Comments

Love it!!!

i love it.

I like this story, keep going :)

Really like your story. its an interesting storyline and i cant wait for you to update. Good Job =)

PLease update more and longer not trying to be needy but i love ittt :) <3 suscribed

dude write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Overall, I think this could be a good story :) The idea of rape isn't exactly original, but with the twist of her guy friend being her rapist's brother, it could lead to a very interesting storyline.

I think the description is really wordy, which makes it really distracting, which defeats the whole purpose of description. You want to build up the setting and mood, but you also want it to blend into the story well and flow.

I also think the description is very long and dragged out. I think you should stick to what is really important, and also what the character would realistically be thinking about. In third person, you can go on and on about what someone is wearing. But in third person, would a character really be thinking about every piece of clothing they are wearing? Mentioning that she is soaked and that water is seeping through her converse is enough, I believe. When writing a story, the author may think it sounds cool to recognize every puddle and rain drop, but in all honesty, most people aren't that attentive.

There are a lot of guys in this town that randomly start talking to the main character, and she doesn't at all seem surprised by this. I wonder where she lives?

I think if you focus more on her feelings and thoughts, and less on her observations, this will make a fun story to read :)