Silver Dagger - Comments

DUN DUN DUN DUN! WILL SHE KILL HERSELF OR WILL SHE JUST BE SELFISH?

WE WILL BE BACK AFTER THESE FEW, SHORT MESSAGE!

There will be more soon, yes? I really love this story and its simplicity :)

She has to kill herself? Well, isn't that just lovely.

Although, it is kind of rude that they expect her to be off with herself immediatly without having time to think about the ordeal. Poor Diana.

OOO, does Dean like Diana? That is quite intriguing. I like having a bit of freedom to picture the palace and surroundings in my head. I absolutly adore this story :) off to the fourth chapter!

I think this is quite unique to say the least. I love how it's just dialogue in the beginning and in the second chapter, you give a song/poem. It's refreshing. I am curious as to where this story is heading, for I have a lack in knowledge of Greek Plays. I am stupid, haha.

I also love the paragraphs that aren't part of the dialogue. It gives just enough detail to picture it all like a movie in my head without being overwhelmed by too much description. Keep it up, love!

I do like the style of writing in this story, the way you have incorporated the traditional Greek tradgedy with an originial storyline is definitely unique. But I'm fairly certain that writing your stories in the form of scripts isn't allowed on here. You need dialogue with quotations. Just double check the rules again. Other than that though, it's very good. :)

Layout is good - simple and easy to read, and the picture of the dagger is really nice.

So in the summary, it says [center[, so just turn that last bracket around and it should work how you want it too :)

I liked the summary quite a lot. It was poetic and made me wonder what's going to be in the story.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to write stories like this, in this format with name, then their speech. I think you actually have to have quotation marks and stuff, not write it out like a script. You should definitely head over to the rules for stories section in the forum or ask a story editor to make sure you're not breaking any rules.

The dialogue is nice. I feel like a few things could have been explained a bit more, but obviously that can't happen the way it's written now. I would have liked to know what "The Vell" is, what her journey is, how she knows her memory has been erased, how they fell in love, what she means by her homeland, what her powers are, etc. It would have made it all make a bit more sense, shown me the picture you had in your head a bit clearer, you know?