Her Fight For Life - Comments

You're doing really well so far at establishing your characters as people and giving back story. You keep leaving out commas when addressing a person though. "Yeah, Mom," for instance, instead of, "Yea Mom." Other than that, there aren't a lot of real problems. Keep it up.

(Comment Swap)
"Comp class", is that "Computer class"? in narative, it's better to write the entire word, unlike in 'Speach'.
"determined to not come" is "determined not to come" ?
At least, it sounds better?
The vocabulary is good, the flow of words keeps me reading.
An easy going text, explaining the life of the girls in the story. At least, it's what I see.
Seems a fairly common story, told here, not really sticking out. Something that would be prefered on occasion, if it did?

Hey I'm here because of Comment Swap I think it's a really good story so far! I’m definitely going to recommend this story, it has a great concept and the layout you’ve chosen compliments it quite well. Keep up the good work!

Aww :) That was adorable. It was so adorable, I will overlook the fact that you called me an asshole :P

Oh, well thanks. Asshole. :)

When you said that no one reads your story, I thought I would read it and leave you a nice comment. So, here it is :)

Anyway, I really like this :) It kind of reminds me of our English class with Ms. Stohs... haha