Beneath the Chandelier - Comments

I'm here judging the Drabble Away entries!

I'm not usually a fan of dark layouts, but this one is really lovely. It has this hopeful glow, but it also gives you this sense that something a little darker is going to happen. It matches in with the story perfectly and I really think it works well in the context of the story.

I like that this starts out with Blue being this beautiful specimen of life, just swaying to her own rhythm, as it is. I like that you slowly have that image shattered by the end of the piece though. It just shows that everyone is flawed, no matter how perfect they look under the pseudo-sunset (fabulous description, by the way!) and I think that's a sad but true message that you bring across throughout this piece.

Honestly, I'm in love with your description. It's so delicate and poetic, but so harsh and unrelenting at times. I don't understand how you have managed to work it so that both of those work well together, but you have and I think it's a really lovely touch. Everything flows well and you describe everything almost like a picture whilst showing both sides to the person - the photogenic side and the side where we see the cracks in the perfect. It's a really interesting concept and I'm glad that the two gel together so well.

Spelling and grammar wise, I can't complain. I didn't see anything worth pointing out at all!

In conclusion, I loved what you got from your image. I like that you have both sides showing and I love the way that you write. Definitely impressed!

I'll be announcing the winners by the 15th, so keep your eyes peeled. Good luck!

This short story was awesome! Such a perfect one shot. I could visualize everything in my head like a movie, your imagery was great! Your writing style was so direct but detailed at the same time. Loved it!

ive never found anything from comment swap so clean cut and- dare i say- perfect. i loved your descriptions, it was like looking at a photograph and noticing all the features. this story is really effective and is perfect as a oneshot or whatever. i think your writing is amazing, talent to die for really. its so ellegant. beautiful great job i'm in love

I’m just going to get straight into it and say that I love the way you’ve begun the story with the description, it instantly sets up images in my mind. It makes me smile that her name is Blue and she’s matched with a blue silk gown, and it works well with the overall sadness of emotion working with the story. I’m not sure if the devil/angel metaphor is to be taken literally or as a symbol, but either way I liked how you’ve weaved that in with the rest of the story. The last line was in a way, melancholy but the way you’ve ended it was so beautiful and perfect.

Oh wow. This is amazing. I'm like, shell-shocked. Like... wow. Oh my god. I have to read anything else you have. This is too good! It's so elegant and beautiful! The description is wonderful and the idea is really creative and it just paints such a beautiful picture! The symbolism is wonderful and so is the idea even if you take it literally. :3 I love it so much. <3

Beautiful imagery!

I'm not sure what to make of this, honestly.

The summary - even though it's a single line - kind of had me going there. I thought that it was going to be some sort of tragedy. And in a way, it kind of is.

I don't know whether you meant this story as an analogy to something, or for it to be taken at it's literal value - but I like it either way.

There is a haunting sadness to the way Blue is being watched, and a certain relate-ability to the fact that the person who watches her has no name, and no identity.

You literally throw the reader right in there in this watcher's shoes.

I like that her name is Blue. It works so well with the characterization, and overall sadness. This story is beautifully written and you're a wonderful writer for producing it.

Bravo!

this is really nice. it's simple, but really effective. the words you use really do work well, and the way your writing flows is beautiful. i'd love to see something like this extended slightly, all though the length of this piece really suits it. <3

Oh wow…the elegance in your words, and the descriptive way you paint a very beautiful and sad picture. The descriptions, and the way you describe the emotion through your words is breathtakingly beautiful. Really great writing. Keep it up! You have a real amazing talent!