One More Mistake - Comments

@ The Good Life
You are so welcome! :D It was great!

@ Zadiekins
Ahhh, thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it :3

Ahh, I wish there were more to this! This was quite wonderful. You did a wonderful job!

Had the main character not specifically told the readers that he was gay, I wouldn't have realised that this was a "slash". And I like that about this. I like that people could easily skip over that little fact if they didn't like it and just read this story as it is.

I quite liked this. It was like a snapshot out of somebody's life, and I like to think that the one night stand didn't stand out as a mistake in the protagonist's mind. In fact, I like to hope that he and Ben ended up getting together.

The only critic I would add is that spaces between your paragraphs would make this a whole lot easier on the eyes, but that's a formatting thing as opposed to a writing critic. =)

Nicely done!

This is another first for me, being able to read a slash fiction. I'm glad to have been able to read this. This was absolutely amazing!

I somewhat had a feeling that he was gay. Since you've described him as a perfectionist, I did have a feeling. But never have I thought that he would do what he actually did that night!

Way to end the ending right? It was more than what I had expected and you did not fail your readers, you did not fail this story as well.

For the MM Writing Contest:
This was really sweet. That was my first thought. My second thought was that the repetition of 'I can't believe I did this' but with can't being replaced with cannot really gives a good emphasis on the fact that it isn't something that he would normally do - hence, a mistake. I like the emotion that Elliot is feeling, I can feel it through the words and it brings his character to life. The ending with him saying what he should have done and what he should not have done is perfectly topped with 'but what's one more mistake...' It was just brilliantly ended.

For the magazine contest.
I really enjoyed the beginning. I thought your first paragraph was perfect and it really grabbed my attention. The rhetorical questions were a nice touch that I don't see often enough.
I like that the second chapter got to know the main character more, even though this was a short piece. It was nice to know that someone who seems so perfect makes mistakes as well.
I also liked that you showed the emotions that led up to the one night stand, and the emotions that happened afterwards. It was neat to see the way it affected the character!

I liked this, it was sweet. :)