This Is Not A Love Story - Comments

This is excellent. Bar for a few overlooked grammar/spelling errors (but I'm a hardass, so ignore me), I really enjoyed this. You can see your writing come to life once you get into the story - there were times when I felt like I was really looking at a scene unfold. I can't wait to see what happens with Emily and (ahem) baby? :D Update.

Comment Swap sent me here, and I gotta say, im liking this. , its good to read some good ole A7X fic again. But anyway, i like your style and i think if you proof read a little more this will be a hit! Best of luck to my dear!
-Taylor.

Just read this and it's really great! Maybe it has something to do with my love of A7X or maybe it's more to do with your brilliant writing style. Either way, i very much enjoyed it. The way you describe the characters and scenes is so lovely to read. Great work!

I don't know much about Avenged but I didn't really mind because I still picked up their personalities and names through your writing. Chapter two is very funny and you're a great writer. Good job and keep up what you're doing because it's obviously pulling in fans. :D

I really like this story, the way you've written it is really lovely. I agree with drea_uhoh the part about Titanic in chapt 2 was really funny, I thought it was serious too haha. The summary really grabs your attention first and I think its brilliant the way you've put a lot of detail into it Either way, really goo work :) Keep it up

I love love love this story so much! And first of it's a Jimmy(A7X) story, so that's a plus for my side, because I absolutely adore them, and especially Jimmy! But on the "serious" note, I like that you describe the story so good, and the summary interested me right when I started reading it, so it made me hurry to the story because I couldn't wait to read it. But I'll say that for me, Emily and Jimmy's relationship is a bit weird, I can't explain how but that's just how I feel, but I still love the story!. Anyway please please please update soon!

First of all I think I should let you know I'm only familiar with Jimmy and Avenged, so bear with me, haha. But hopefully my opinion will let you know that it's not just fans of either him or the band that think your writing is good :)

Your 'summary' with the extract from the story definitely had me interested from the minute I started reading it. As for the first chapter, I really enjoyed the opening line, especially with the 'money is the key to happiness' reference. It kind of set the tone to the story I guess, because immediately I knew that a key theme of your plot was going to be the question of happiness. I liked the way you immediately set out Emily's differences through contrasting the way she was dressed against the married couple. Again, in my opinion that was an excellent way to open the story, immediately building on her characterisation, and letting the audience know that she herself was comfortable and happy with her own image.

As for chapter two, your use of humour as I've noticed a few other people mention already, really kept me interested and immediately built on my idea of the way in which Emily and Jimmy's relationship works. Your description in chapter three was also excellent, and I definitely enjoy the way you ended the chapter with two single sentences separated from all the other paragraphs, and contrasting with the mood that was previously set before hand. I personally think that that was really effective in getting across the fact that the story is about to pick up the pace now, and take a turn into a more darker side of the character's lives.

A really good story so far. Your writing skills and use of techniques are incredible. The only thing I would suggest to improve is maybe change the position of where you have the information about your old account on the summary page, to either in the status bar or just before your disclaimer. Otherwise, it kind of acts as a barrier to possibly new readers who didn't know about the story beforehand from finding out what the story is all about straight away, and it may throw them off a little.

Other than that, you definitely have someone who doesn't know too much about the band or Jimmy wanting to read more, so well done :)

I'm sadly not a very big fan of Avenged Sevenfold, but as people, Jimmy was my favourite!

I laughed so hard when he was crying over Titanic. It's cute how you wrote him :)

I love that you have correct spelling, correct usage of grammar and are using paragraphs! Not a lot of mibba users do that.

That being said, I can't wait to read what else you have in store for your story!

I love this! First time reading a Jimmy story that i can actually say is amazing! I'm gonna agree with drea_uhoh and The. Cameras. Lying. I was seriously rolling when i found out that he was actually talking about Titanic! Scared me there for a bit. lol. But keep up the good work! Can't wait to read more!!

I really like this story, the way you've written it is really lovely. I agree with drea_uhoh the part about Titanic in chapt 2 was really funny, I thought it was serious too haha. Either way, really goo work :) Keep it up

hooray for jimmy stories, good ones are rare, and i'm enjoying this so far!

When he was crying in chapter 2 i thought it was something serious,
because I couldn't figure out who Jack was
but i couldn't stop laughing when
you said it was because of titanic lol

keep it up

Ooo, I'm really into this!
I really want to know what the ending up chapter three meant... :0
Update soon!<3

yay for jimmy stories!! i'm digging this :) can't wait for the next chapter!