March 22nd, 2007 at 11:46pm
I didn’t like how it dells with suicide. A over used topic on poetry put into story form. It seemed kind of over done in a way. Also, I didn’t think all the cussing was necessary. Also, the ending just ended in kind of a confusing way in my opinion…
On the other hand, you have a really good way with describing things, “It was like trying to focus on a blue sky with the sun shimmering just enough to absorb anyone in its view.” I loved that part, how you described things in the story…<3...
So, you wanted me to be harsh, and there you have it, enjoy…XD….
But, I absolutely loved it.
I love you're descriptions;;
I love the way you had the character realize how childish she was being, like a lot of kids realize when they are being persistant.
I enjoyed the details of her pill popping trip, the details made it worth reading =]]]
Nice one-shot!
<333