Okay this rewrite is a lot better. I really liked it. So i'm actually subscribing. Though you should go through and edit it sometime. it's full of grammer and slight spelling mistakes.
Okay so i tried, really tired to read it from start to finish but couldn't finish i got to the 3rd paragraph in chapter 6. The story has no really description, I don't feel any thing for any of the characters. I think you should reread it you're self just the words written and see if you feel anything for Emma. I thin the plot may lend into a good story but i just couldn't finish it. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh I'm just telling you what i think. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'd like to read the story again if you change it at all just inbox me. :)