Your Hands Are Tied - Comments

comment swapped:

There's nothing terribly wrong with the chapter I read (21), but there were some things I saw that could definitely be improved. You could definitely have mre variety to your sentences - they are all pretty much "I + verb," or "He + verb," etc. Some different structures will make it flow better - for now it is kind of staccato because that repetitive sentence structure interrupts the flow. Also, when using dialogue, you write the sentence and then end with a comma and quotes, and don't capitalize the "said." For instance: "This story is about Avenged Sevenfold," she said. Not: "This story is about Avenged Sevenfold." She said. Like I said, I didn't see anything criminally wrong with the writing; those were the main things that caught my attention. I didn't really find it terribly captivating, but that's also probably because I picked a random chapter. It just didn't seem like much happened. Given the comments below me, however, I'm guessing I probably just picked a bit of a dud; the story certainly has enough fans. Good luck with the sequel. Cheers!

I really loved this story!!! Please write a sequel!!!!!!

Sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... this is a really freakin' amazing story. Seriously. I'm from comment swap, and I don't really like Avenged Sevenfold fics, but this is the exception. At more than a couple of points my eyes started tearing up. I can't wait for the sequel!

Sequel!!!!

I love the way they told the guests the baby news :-) And awww I bet Brian was relieved that she didn't run away again

I would love to see a sequel as I love all these guys

Well that's one way to tell them about the baby...i would love to see a sequel

Awwww, that chapter was so cute!!!!!!! :D I loved this chapter so much, I think that those two are amazing together! Great chapter, I can't wait for the next! :D

Aw! :') Brian is a cutie pie! Loved the gas joke! xD

i was expecting a surprise party too but this is way better!!!!! That was so romantic - who knew a rockstar had it in him, and he better pay for her gas :p

well, I suppose they gotta go home and celebrate NC-17 style :p

I was expecting a surprise party but this was just as good....
What di i wanna see? I wanna see some babies

Awe! I'm glad she said yes! I really don't have any suggestions I can think of right now. But keep up the good work!

That chapter was adorable! I can't wait for more! Great work!

So. I cant wait to find out what Brian and everyone is up too. Update soon.! Keep up the good work.

well I hope he was out all night planning this otherwise he's got a bit of 'splainin to do :-)

awww, I'm thinking that everyone is in the backyard waiting for her, or it could just be another stop in the scavenger hunt? Is the last bit a naked Brian - I wouldn't mind going on a scavenger hunt if a naked Brian was at the end of it :p

It's a surprise party...
Well at least they didn't forget.
He better have a good reason for not coming home

Great chapter! :D I agree with what gothique4 says, I think there is going to be a party! :D

methinks they're all in cahoots planning a surprise party, the sneaky things :-)

Not the best thing Brian could've said....

*soon