Ariel's Tree - Comments

I liked the plot and idea of it. A lot. The ending was probably my favorite (NOT BECAUSE THE STORY WAS ENDING!) because you showed the witch's point of veiw for the first time, and it was wicked sweet. I also liked how you had shorter chapters and the story wasn't boring. This story is an obvious fantasy and I think that's what makes it so amazing. I think if you tried to make it any more realistic, the story might have been a little lost. All-in-all: Loved your story!

Look, what I am about to say isn't exactly "Happy go-lucky review." I am about to give you constructive criticism. Take it or don't.
First off, the plot with the tree is okay enough. I mean I agree it hasn't been done before, but for good reason. You need to have ALOT of information and explanation of why trees can talk and why/how it can turn human. Simply saying it went to the witch doesn't clarify anything. It is vague and confusing for people to read.
Also, you make it seem as if the tree could WALK to the witch. It can't. It's a tree. BTW Making the tree fall in love with a girl that it's watched (need explanation on how trees can see too) is creepy.
The main character is a Mary-Sue, flat out. If you want more info on what a Mary-Sue is, please click this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue
Also, consider getting a proof-reader, I'm seeing so many typo's that can so easily be avoided if you double-checked it.
I've read all your other stories as well, and I have the same complaints. You are not clear enough, it's confusing to read, and all the main characters have the same exact personality and physical features. A main character NEEDS to have a serious flaw, and none of your characters have that. Sure they are unsure of themselves, but that's not a flaw. EVERY person is unsure of themselves. A flaw is anger, greed, etc.
Also your dialogue isn't the best. It's very weak and needs quite a bit of work.
Your idea of romance in your fics is off too. People don't fall in love in a few days, and love from afar isn't love, it's infatuation. There is a huge difference. A boy doesn't see a girl and see her as flawless before he even knows her, much less falls in love with her. Love takes time. Obsession is also not love.

Really loving it! Such an interesting point of veiws! :)

This is great.
Like all your stories.

Liking this a lot~

Keep running

xxxxx
Billie...

still liking it. =)

i really like it. i think this story may have more meaning to me than you think....