Dear author, maybe you won't like what you'll read but it will work to your advantange if you hear me out cause you have potential to turn this story to a great piece of literature. First of all, the summary is plain. Try making it interesting, eye-catching. Secondly, sometimes you use many commas when you should just another sentence or connent the sentences with (and, but, with, while) Don't write the same scenes from different POV's. You can keep writing with two POV's cause its nice but lets say you write in Ashley's POV, explain Andy's feelings from the way he moved, looked, talked and vise-versa. At chapter three which you have to edit, use spaces between dialogues. That's all from me so bye. ~Marian.
January 8th, 2013 at 01:07pm
