If I Was Your Boyfriend - Comments, page 2

JBJT123 (100)

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Age:: 28
Location:: United States

Where are you?!? Update PLEASE

November 13th, 2014 at 05:03am

AZNGRL (100)

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Age:: 34
Location:: United States

your welcome

October 24th, 2014 at 10:01pm

blissfulbrittney (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: United States

@ AZNGRL
im so glad! (:

October 24th, 2014 at 04:46pm

blissfulbrittney (100)

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Age:: 29
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@ Linked
I'll admit and agree that the first few chapters were very amateur. I appreciate the constructive criticism because that just betters the story and the writer so thanks.

October 24th, 2014 at 04:46pm

Linked (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: Australia

From reading the first two-chapters, you have absolutely no world building and the characters are completely one dimensional. Remember to set a scene - describe where they are, what they’re doing and why they’re doing it, how they feel, who they are. You’re relying way too much on dialogue, which makes your characters come across as robotic. I also feel like you’re rushing each scene…There was basically 50 words between when the story began and when the catalyst of your story happened.
Anyway, all the best.

October 24th, 2014 at 12:48pm

AZNGRL (100)

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Age:: 34
Location:: United States

love it

October 23rd, 2014 at 05:25pm

AuthorEscapeArtist (150)

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Age:: 29
Location:: United States

Chapter 139 is by far my favorite chapter! I laughed so hard throughout the whole chapter. Like, crying-laughing!! Selena actually having the nerve to suggest and even offer to "help" him break things off with Chrissy was so amusing. And when she said "I know you feel the same way, too" i was like "Oh, you don't know nothing, honey. Move along." But seriously, Brittney. Amazing job on this story. Can't wait for more!! :)

September 10th, 2014 at 07:40am