Believe in Futures - Comments

I’m here to judge for the ‘Pick A Couple, Pick A Flyleaf Song, Pick A Theme, And Get To Writing!’ contest.

The contrast of this story was actually really good. It started out so intense and dark with Frank’s eating disorder and the desperate need for control, then actually ended up having a happy ending. I’m a huge sucker for happy endings after a lot of angst—it’s probably one of my favorite things—so I appreciate that you didn’t go for a tragic ending after putting Frank through something so horrific. I also love how the focus was on Frank and Gerard’s relationship, but not romantically until the very end. What mattered was the support and unconditional love.

One thing though: you switched from present to past tense mid-story. Leading up to the scene in the bathroom where Frank is throwing up, it’s all present tense and then the rest of the story he was telling was written in past tense starting with this line: “I knew it.” Gerard whispered to me before shaking his head sadly. It was really distracting because it immediately broke your flow pretty harshly. You went back to present in the scene with Dr. Ross so I’m not sure which part was meant to be in past and which was meant to be in present since it was actually Frank retelling his story. Definitely pick one tense and make sure you stuck with it when you proofread.

Overall, this was a good and emotional one-shot so good job.

This is fucking amazing. Seriously, you got like loads of accurate information with the disorder and stuff like that and I love the fact that Frank is pregnant! Yay! well done Xo

This....was good....like real good....add more to it if you can! :D