Coffee Shop Blues - Comments

{Comment Swap}

First up, the title. Love it. Before I started reading it I imagined what this story would be about. Then the chapter name. Another miute spent wondering about that. Then the first sentence 'She's so beautiful'.

This story is just heart-warming. One of my favourite parts is, 'I stare into her eyes again. She looks so determined, like her life depends on me not looking like something out of the sewers.' It's great. I literally laughed out loud at that!

And the ending, 'Oh, I got the job. '

I love this all, I'm going to read it through again. Maybe three more times! I don't know, but I'm definitely recommending it. And I'm subscribing!

Yeah maybe some detail about their past woud be good

@ Swampy
Thank you! And what kind of detail? Maybe their past?

This is a great one shot. I really enjoyied reading it and the title of your chapter made me giggle :-). I think you could have gone into more detail with the charaters but apart from that i couldn't find any faults so thats good. (I', from comment swap)

@ Ned Flanders
Maybe you have a son who has the devil's curly hair? LOL

I still have to fully understand why on Earth would I pick this username, but a lot of people on here seem to be amused by it xD

I will give them a read. Seriously. :)

@ Ned Flanders
=D

I giggled at your username! Hahaha

Good to know I brightened your day =D I have a few other stories kind of like this =)

The story title reminds me of a Japanese rock band I really enjoy. I giggled at the chapter title, you've got sense of humor for sure, which also is present on the story itself. It's a very refreshing piece, very sweet and heartwarming. This is so different from what I usually read, but in a very good way. If this was a film, Jim would be played by Matthew Gray Gubler and Maria by some chubby adorable brunette, I can't think of any famous actresse like that, though xD
I really enjoyed your story and it made me feel good and fuzzy :)

@ zentag770
thank you so much! and i will try and start two new series, they will be a continuation of my two other stories, "The Foolish Prince" and "A mouse Named Rupert"!

I like the chapter name, its much like mine for my one shot.

I like the clean humor, it made me happy in the end. Excellent dialogue and emotions! I love it. I could really connect with the guy. Awesome ending and I'm left speechless

Keep writing. that's an order more stuff like this and you'll be good! keep up the excellence!

That's really cute.

Your one shot already has a name Mr. Funny Author Gnome.

I like this as it is not profane, it's clean. It's calm and flowing. I would like to see their personalities a bit more. I like the ending like, it made me smile. The job was an afterthought. ;)

Keep writing. This was a nice tale. I'm so happy there is some morality left in the world that a story like this could be here. :)

Hi! I didn't realize you had to repost it! It's still extremely amazing!

XOXO,
MayaAngelou0524 ♥

*Sorrow. My keys hate me. xD

Deep osrrow for your of comments. This story was perfect. Jim's such an awkward little boy, isn't he? Haha it's an awesome oneshot. It's so simple and sweet. Keep up the good work!

--J