Clinical - Comments

I am pro choice. I think if the situation calls for it ,it is totally up to the impregnated being.
I have to say I agree with everybody. When she says 'I need you to kill it' Is disturbing but totally beautiful to me. I think it shows that 'it' isn't really anything to them yet, its' a bunch of cells' If people think about it, its true. Most people don't think about the fact that there is a being in their body.
Abortion should be considered in only major situations, but the one-shot was simply beautiful.

ZooZoo Magee:

My favorite lines:

It would have been months if she had months.

That was, by far, my favourite line too.

I simply love your stories. They're so unique and just incredible in general. This one upsets me slightly though. The simple way that Dru says she needs to kill it will haunt me.

Beautiful.

This might sound abrupt for a review but the line that kind of struck me at first was "I need you to kill it."
The repitition of the line the second time made me wonder; Ryan expected an explaination but what erupted from her lips was only a repeat of the same line which kind of emphasized the importance of it.
[I know it said in the summary it's an abortion story so it's quite easy to figure out what she's speaking about but I like to see how it unfolds and reveals throughout the words and lines.]

“This thing inside me.”
You can actually smell the fear and despair throughout those words; also, how she refers to it as... well... it. Like it doesn't have an identity or even a being; that can be summed up in another line throughout the story Just a bunch of cells. Not a baby. which really stood out to me.

I kind of wondered how Ryan'd easily be persuaded to let her have the baby as a lot of guys would -even if slighty- object and that -also- reveals at another segment of the one-shot. He basically didn't wanna fuck up like his parents did; he didn't desire a repeat of the past.

“I know, baby.”

Then, she cried.

The end got to me as well. Because it seems that this sentence was somewhat of an unintentional pun, explaining the tears of course.

I liked it; how it's layered and simply worded. I have to say that I don't read much fics like these but I really enjoyed reading it, espacially about a topic as sensitive as this.

To talk or write about abortion without choosing sides seems at least hard if not impossible. Because when writing about abortion, you usually have to take sides. You usually have to show the struggle and the drama and the angst and all the baggage that comes with an abortion story. People know abortions are nasty, you can't write it to be pretty.
And yet... maybe there is some hope left.

Clinical comes off as a story about people, not abortions and not babies. It's not even a fanfic in the true sense of the word, it's just a story about and with people.

I love the conversation at the beginning, it contains that kind of deep emotions, the pressure that you could literary feel pressing on your shoulders while you read the story. And at the same time, it has a touch of gentleness, a touch of let's-smile-while-we-can. The Everything from Ouija boards to exorcism to bad B-movies raced through his mind. line does it. It breaks the silence and brings some light into the story.
And it wouldn't normally work, because it's an abortion story, a nightmare story, a story with a dark scary layout, but somehow it works for you.

Also the characters are lovely because they're just so naive, no-one really goes How could this be happening to me? in a desperate voice. Everyone remains calm, tries to treat it like it's just an other day, just an other morning, just an other bunch of cells. And again this doesn't feel like a fanfiction. Brendon could be any guy, Ryan could be any best friend, and Dru oh well it would be hard to find someone with the same combination of naiveness, gentleness and sweet hopelessness as Dru, but ultimately, she is all that and more because she is so universal.

The ending kills [as always]. The drama amplifies just because the two chose to remain silent. That soft I know. contains the essence of the story. I know your drama, I know what you're going through, and I know how to be there for you.

To sum it up: if abortion-related scary stories could be called lovely, then this one is more than lovely.

Wow. Heavy stuff. It takes balls to write something like that, and it takes talent to describe it so beautifully. It makes me think of the song "Brick" by Ben Folds Five [so the music was indeed a great choice.]
I was actually skeptical about it at first because I wasn't sure where the story would go, but you really pulled me in with all the emotions.
Great work.

I came away with the feeling of Dru having made a sacrifice. And perhaps that's not what you intended, I don't really know, but I like how you show that the decision did hurt her, that it wasn't easy for her.
{At the end when she cries.}
I like your Dru/Brendon/Ryan stories. They work.
My favorite lines:

It would have been months if she had months.

his silence would be enough to force her to explain.

Only now, only for this moment that Dru wasn’t around did he let himself wonder. Just for a moment. Was it his or was it Brendon’s? He hated himself for wondering. It wasn’t like it mattered. Not at all.

Really good.
i enjoyed it.
=)

Grrrrr you chose the best song, it fits this so perfectly.

[/shitty comment]

Wow, that was great. Really original.
And on a side note, I love the choice of song. Brick is awsome.

New story.
Pairing is Dru/Brendon/Ryan.
Characters are Dru and Ryan.
Warning for abortion.
Nightmare fic.

Happy [?] reading.

xoxox
- Dru