Pictures of You - Comments

*Comment Swap*

I'll admit, I have not the slightest idea of who this is even about. It's an interesting story, though, not exactly my cup of tea. You're a good writer, but, and maybe it's just me, the constant use of "I" at the beginning of sentences made it harder to read. But, whatever floats your boat. I personally prefer 3rd person, but oh well. Anyways, keep on doin' what ya do! :)

*Comment Swap*

This was really nice. I, like Phil's Baby Hina below, loved how real you made Jazz's character feel. You run across a lot of Gary Stues and Mary Sues on here and it's nice to see a well developed character every now and again. Also, I liked the layout you made. Simple enough that it's not in your face and definitely goes well with the story. I dunno, it's just a sort of pet peeve to me when people don't make layouts that go with their story. Anyway, good job and keep writing! :3

Chapter One
I love how you jumped right into the story. The way you described the wedding scene, well, the photo shoot was just brilliant. I can imagine the bride and groom having so much fun, posing for their pictures. I’m getting a cute picture of this too.

I love how Jazz is so observant, she kinda reminds me of me when it comes to making up little stories about people. That’s a good trait for photographers to have. So far, Jazz seems to be the most realistic character I’ve come across and that’s a great thing. I wonder what will become of her and her photography business.

You described everything in this chapter so well and with great imagery too. Everything flowed so well. Great job! I’m definitely subbing to this story. I will come back and read the rest tomorrow or sometime when I have some free time. It’s getting late.

Again, thanks for the great read. :)
-Hina

What a gntleman! :D

I was so thrilled that comment swap brought me to a Tanger story. I love the Pens! And this story, it's great! I love the character build up before Kris came into the picture. And she has flaws, that is refreshing and fantastic. This is definitely unique and quite adorable. I will definitely be subscribing. I can't wait to read more :)

I had a few doubts about this in the beginning, seeing as I had no idea who the story was about. I had even more doubts when it seemed to jump right into the story without out much background, but I have go to say I love this story already. I truly think it's beautifully written; it's not too heavy with the vocabulary, but then again, it's not too light. Hope to see more of it soon c:

This is SO adorable. I love the way you write, it makes me feel like I'm watching the whole thing on a big screen. i especially loved the first chapter, with the couple and the drive home, it was a really good beginning for the character. Love love love!

I am highly impressed with your use of vocabulary and diction. I also adore the layout! However, I do caution you to be wary of your usage of some words and phrases. Like the comment from Flatline, some of the phrases you use some a little stiff, and even though I know your wide vocabulary is natural, it may not appear that way. Also, I love the way you develop your main character; you give her natural qualities and while she is not perfect, she is lovable, and will have your whole audience rooting for her all the way through the end of the story. Overall, great work and I'll be keeping an eye on this!

I love this story! You use interesting verbs - instead of plain words such as "drove", you use words that create a better image such as "swung" and "begrudgingly glided". Moving to chapter two, you used the sentence, "various ribbons and awards were placed around" - in my opinion, I don't think a 1st person description would look at their awards like that, more like, "the hockey awards I won when I was younger were in various displays across the room". Another thing I like about your story, is that you don't make your character perfect. She has asthma, yes, she gets embarrassed, she doesn't have a perfect car that she has to run by willpower etc. Overall, a really nice start for a story I hope goes on for a while!

Great update!!

can't wait to see where this goes!!

Adorable and funny. Loved it!

love this!!

Cute! :)

Can't wait for more!

Okay so now I cannot get The Last Goodnight's song out of my head. Love the story. So I can't complain.

Oh so they meet through Vero. Aaah so freaking adorable.

Update soon!!!

Really liking this. Looking forward to more!

I like this story, it looks really good :)