The Foretelling - Comments

I loved Wendy's explanation on why Romeo and Juliet wasn't so great, she makes a good point :P I'm still curious as to see what's in the sky that she keeps seeing...

More soon please, I really like this :)

It's getting great! I l really like where it's heading! I wonder what's in the sky? Update soon please!

I'm not commenting to correct you on your grammar. (which btw, people are just being picky over.)

I'm commenting to let you know how fucking amazing I think this is. :) Like, damn.

You got talent.

Definitely subscribing to this. :)

Hello,

This is for comment swap.

I may as well start by saying the layout is very simple and I like it very much. There were some sentences that seemed to become awkward and very hard to read, such like Leo Wyatt had stated in the first sentence...

Anywho, I really enjoyed this.

Summary;

You use "they" to describe both the aliens and the people (I assume, since first you say "they" came, and then "they" panicked, I assume it's the people who panic) and that becomes a little confusing. Other than that it's nice. A little short, but okay.

In my wallet that was currently being crushed between my ass and the leather seat beneath me had five distinct cards:
- Either "the wallet" instead of "in my wallet" or "there were five distinct cards inside" instead of "had". The sentence as is doesn't make sense.

By the time I was on the freeway, one sweaty hand had a slippery grip while the other constantly drummed against it.
- I know you mean that the grip was on the steeringwheel, but that's not literally what you've written. Literally it says that one of her hands was drumming against the sweaty one.

The concept of the story is very thrilling and you definitely do a good job at tugging the readers in. It leave you with a lot of questions that you want answered. Except for a few minor issues it was well-written too. Good job!

So I'm being honest when I say this totally reeled me in! For it's length, I'm still captivated :P I'll def subscribe to this one! Can't wait for an update.

P.S I know this is irrelevant...but jarred peanut butter yummy ^_^

So well written. Suscribed.

:o

I sense aliens.
Seriously.
And just a while ago, I was kind of ranting about aliens.

God, I think this will be awesome. Honestly, I can't wait for more so I'm absolutely subbing to this.