TLOZ, Rebirth - Comments

@ OkayChris05
Thank-you so much!!!!!!!! I'm so happy to hear that! TLOZ was my childhood too! I just ador it!!!! My BF and I both do! XD

God legend of Zelda is like my childhood I love the game Soo much!!!! I also love this story it's so unique we'll written and just perfection in every way.

Tunis for the addvice! I was thinking on doin character adds to the story. What do ya think? I hope to have more in the next chapter...but it'll be a bit till I get around to it. I'm pretty busy! Lol

Your new chapter is really good. It's like the game in story form. Maybe you can add in more about their character or more dialogues. That would be interesting. :)

the reason i use all those short sentences is because i like to point out what exactly i want the reader to notice. most of the time it's just dramatic stops. I also use short sentences because, when i get graded on papers for grammar, the teacher doesn't like it when i shrewn three or four sentences together, even with it having a comma or semi-colin. (kinda like i just did) She tells me most of those needed to just be a single sentence. I'm glad u like it though! (sorry about all the mistakes, i do try to read it over b4 i post because like i posted just b4, i seem to type something i thought i did and didn't or type two of the same) lol

Just go back and read it over. A great story like this needs to be edited to perfection! You can write it all out and fill in the editing mistakes later.

Also, play with sentence length. Here's an example: "This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important."

I love the adventure focus on this, it's a lot of fun. Definitely feels like there's a movie going on in my head!

thank you all! I know I've got spelling errors(i think i type too quickly and then i think i've written something, but haven't or such) but your comments REALLY encourage me! I don't think I ever do a good job at my stories, because of the 0 comments from the others and such, but getting great feedback like this really helps! that's why I keep this one going(also beacuse, i love TLOZ! and this story's Link and Zelda are my bf and I lol!) he's the only one who ever read it and he likes it, but now that I know others read it, it's great! Thanks a lot!!!

I just finished reading the last few chapters, deffinently got better and better as the story went on, its like I am watching a film in my head as I read it, cant wait for the next chapters!!

I actually played the first Zelda game last year, and it's really fun to read this. It's like another Zelda game!

I like it, and usally I cant stand stories that are all romantic but you did a good job
a few spelling errors but that can be quickly changed
and also I thougt Milia was going to help Link find Zelda, but when I found out she was Zelda (and I not saying this to be mean, sorry if I upset you) I was a little dissapoined, but I agree with the other comment, it is really cute

I asked the same question as Navi. lWhy did he kiss her?

Edit your story it's cute. :)